


Addiction

by Lovelyj



Series: I Only Want You [6]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fantasy, First Universe, Fluff, Graphic depiction of death, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mention of Death, Murder, Mystery, Possible Major Character Death in different universe, Romance, Second Universe, Secrets, Suicide, Time Travel, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24733006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelyj/pseuds/Lovelyj
Summary: Sungjin wakes up in the morning thinking the events from the past weeks were all dreams until he realized he was traveling in time. But as he try to get closer to Dowoon, the further he gets. And something more than what he knows Dowoon has already figured by then.[Re-published]
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Kim Wonpil, Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Sungjin, Park Jaehyung | Jae/Yoon Dowoon, Park Sungjin/Yoon Dowoon
Series: I Only Want You [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1141130
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	1. First Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Summary is hard.
> 
> Sort of a long introduction but it will be helpful in the future chapters.

“Sungjin-ah, here” says Younghyun brightly. Sungjin’s best friend since he could remember who now have jet-black hair instead of the purple shades and a dangling cross earring on his left ear, allowing him to be a little less punk compared to last year. He waves some papers from afar before walking fast to Sungjin’s direction on the school’s hallway.

Sungjin who colored his hair with a light brown due to Younghyun’s influence prior the classes started yet still looking like a model student of the school with those cool school uniform on him, fondly smiles to his best friend before he bumps to a person, straying his attention away to apologize. However Younghyun was quick to retrieve those pair of eyes to him after calling his best friend’s name.

Sungjin’s flashing eyes eventually disappeared at the realization of the kind of papers Younghyun is actually holding.

“I told you, I don’t need that”

Younghyun scrunches his nose at the rejection yet still determined to push his own agenda.

“Ow, come on! Just read it. You already saw the draft last week. It’s the same thing we—“

“Younghyun-ah, I don’t want to be so half hearted by reading a script. I can come up on my own” Sungjin smirks at the end of his overly confident confession, suddenly letting Younghyun roll his eyes before nudging his shoulder.

“So you want the new students to admire you, I see. I should really learn from you” He playfully raises a brow. Pouting the next second to hide the laughter away.

The brown haired man shook his head with a soft chuckle. Letting the smirk remain on his lips.

“Whatever you say”

“Okay Mr. President, I apologize for my undesirable behavior” Younghyun teasingly put a fist to his chest as he formally speaks.

Sungjin shook his head and sighed for the last time before bringing his composure. “Now stop playing around and act like a student council. Let’s go to the hall” He says in a formal manner like how Younghyun did.

“Yes sire!” They both laughed at their stupid act before leading their feet to the school’s hall where their first morning assembly of the new school year will begin.

Sungjin is the first school’s student council officer that has become a President on his eleventh instead of twelfth grade. While Younghyun as his partner in crime since they were kids is the Vice President of the student body.

They were always in the spotlight since their freshmen year. They were smart with Sungjin as the top student and Younghyun following him to the second. The two were always very active to school activities except for sports because they believe sexy brain is sexier than a sexy body. Yet more than half of the student body believe those two are perfectly talented, not just that but everyone is crazy of their good looks.

Sungjin has lead his eleventh grade perfectly. It wasn’t as peaceful as a normal student would have. It could be a mess sometimes however, the students still loved how he lead and how he bring his words to reality.

Their final year came. New students has arrived and the student council body has changed. Some of them has graduated already, being replaced by the new ones. Like Wonpil, their new secretary, a sweet popular boy of eleventh grade who seemingly looks so calm and happy all the time however when known closely, he is actually very strict of his own rules, very well planner and a hard working person whether in studies or the council.

And Ahyeon, a tough image and a blue long length haired girl of the eleventh grade. Very well known as the prettiest lady of the entire school. Where everyone dies when she does her lip glossed smiles. Who also has grown closer to Wonpil and Younghyun since she joined the council.

“You know what. I’ll take all of this with me and let’s discuss more of it tomorrow” Wonpil announces in concern after noticing the tired look of the council’s face and their bothering silence thinking over the right plan for the school festival’s theme.

Sungjin breathe out and nod to Wonpil’s suggestion lacing his both hands on top of the long table, who is sitting in the central post. “Wonpil’s right. And it’s almost seven in the evening. Tomorrow’s a Friday, let’s take our rest for tonight and talk about the plan tomorrow. Alright?”

Almost everyone nods in a deep sigh. Quite disappointed of not being able to come up with a better idea compared to last year’s event.

They all stood up and slowly left after saying goodbye while Wonpil remains to clean the mess on the student council’s room.

“I’ll help—“ Sungjin tries to pick up the rest Wonpil was trying to do however he was cut by a hand holding his wrist.

“I’ll take care of him Sungjin. You go home and take a rest.” Younghyun interrupts in a sharp gaze pointing on him. Quickly assisting Wonpil to pick up what he has to. Not minding Sungjin anymore as he busy himself to help.

Sungjin hesitates for a second before responding an “Okay. Take care” Younghyun hums and it became his cue to take his black backpack and leave the two.

Sungjin could’ve taken a bus that would take him home within ten minutes however, the chance to spend a quiet time alone is rare and so he took the chance to walk under the starlit sky and quarter moon taking him home within an estimated of thirty minutes time.

The sentimental feeling kicks in the fifteen minutes walk of feeling relax, away from obligations and crowd. However, the atmosphere has been interrupted by hearing an echo of a yell and threatening sound on an area near the convenience store across the street leading to his street address.

He walked carefully to find the sound of a striking kick and gasp of a man until he found a dark alley. A silhouette of three young men illuminated by the streetlight opposite to where Sungjin is standing can be seen. It is clear how the three young men are bullying the weak guy laying curl in the ground after being continuously kicked.

Sungjin is a model student. He hasn’t learnt karate or even some self defense. He doesn’t want to be hurt but he’d rather be than seeing the poor guy ganged up by the three young men like a righteous man he is. He carefully approaches them from the dim light but after realizing who they are just by seeing the same uniform they are wearing, his heart was put in ease. He can recognize them as the junior students. He doesn’t have to fight, all he has to do is use his better brain.

Although he is walking close and his quick steps could possibly be heard, the three young men doesn’t pay him attention.

So he crosses his arm from a distant and let out a question from his calm yet authoritative tone every time he is angered by wrongful acts.

“You three, what do you think you’re doing?”

The three guys whipped their heads to the voice with a glare and paused from their violent activity.

“Do you want to be suspended for being out here while wearing your uniform and worst..”

Sungjin’s brows raises as his eyes trails from the three to the poor guy lying on the ground in which is also wearing the same uniform as them although he hasn’t recognized yet.

It dawned to them who the hell is this person commanding upon recognizing the voice and finally recognizing their student council’s president’s face from the dim light. The three tenses up from the cold aura and curses under their breathes before taking a small step backward.

“I’m not done with you..” The guy on the center, with an ordinary black hair and ordinary yet grudging face said who seemed to be their leader.

They all immediately dispersed and ran to the different direction where Sungjin is coming from, leaving the poor guy on the ground breathing in difficulty.

He is quick to crouch down and assist the poor guy to stand up however this one is seemingly aggressive either when Sungjin tried to hold him from the arms to help him get up, the poor guy pushes him away.

“Hey, be careful” The poor guy who he now recognize as a junior student of the same year level as those guys who beat him up earlier, doesn’t respond to him, instead he’s now getting a hold of himself. His face full of bruises from his cheekbone to his nose. There’s a peel off skin on his cheek and the corner of his right lip is still bleeding. Disheveled chestnut hair and the tired, lazy eye that has never even looked at him once.

“Yah!” The said man doesn’t listen to him and is trying to walk away from the same direction where the bullies had ran away. Sungjin watch him leave in gape before he came back to his senses.

“Yoon Dowoon!” He calls out and Dowoon freezes by hearing his name. Biting the corner of his lips, hissing right away upon realizing there’s a wound down there. He still doesn’t look back so Sungjin did the effort instead and walked to his direction to face him.

“Aren’t you Park Jaehyung’s boyfriend? Why are you alone?” Dowoon still doesn’t look at him. But he does glare to somewhere else and furrowed his brows upon hearing his boyfriend’s name. Jaehyung or most commonly known as Jae, who is in the same year level as Sungjin.

“Is he obligated to be with me all the time?” The sharp glare is now directed to him. There is an irritation on his deeper tone. This is the very first time they ever had a conversation and didn’t expect for him to have this tough and mature voice at his age and his young look.

Sungjin warms up a little after noticing his wrong approach. He shouldn’t have mentioned anyone. But Jaehyung is a good fighter, he has a black belt in karate and so Sungjin thought it was a good idea to mention.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t—“ Losing a word to explain himself, he sighs. “Never mind. Come with me, let’s take care of your wounds”

Dowoon roll his eyes. “Thank you but no thanks” He says in the same manner before attempting to walk away again.

Now knowing Dowoon’s personality as this. He doesn’t let the younger go against him and drag him to the convenience store close to the alley.

“We’ll clean your bruises” Sungjin says as they walk together with a hand against Dowoon’s wrist. Its a good thing, the younger has stopped complaining and sat down obediently on a chair at the convenience store while Sungjin runs back with an ointment and bondage on his hand from the pharmacy across the road.

He drags a chair across the table from Dowoon and sits closely in front of him. Placing the medicine he bought on the table. He then leaned in and carefully cleans up the wounds with a grimace as he stare on the younger’s face. As if he is the one who is feeling the pain instead of Dowoon. The younger could feel a sting of pain but it’s not enough to react as much as how Sungjin’s face does.

Dowoon’s eyes wander to anything. To the ground, to the sky, to the bike passing along as long as it isn’t Sungjin’s eyes.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone” Sungjin says after assuming Dowoon’s concern.

“Don’t.. tell Jaehyungie hyung.. please..” Dowoon carefully says before clearing his throat. Tinge of blush spreading around his face, burning his ears up. Eyes doesn’t meet Sungjin still.

Sungjin chuckles softly from the awkwardness of the younger yet it touched him as well to think how his boyfriend matters the most than the school. Dowoon is rude but cute.

“Don’t worry. I definitely won’t”

Dowoon peeks at Sungjin after hearing the change of tone on his voice. It was rather bright than calm compare to earlier. He could see a smirk from Sungjin’s face so he clears his throat once more before saying thanks from a smaller voice.

And with that, their eyes finally met with a fond smile on Sungjin’s lips and a spark from his deep orbs.

“Is it fine to ask what you’re doing outside at this time?” Sungjin carefully asks after the atmosphere became better from the both of them. Finally putting a band-aid with a brown puppy print on it to Dowoon’s cheekbone and forehead.

“Nothing. I was spending my time on a coffee shop. And I came pass them when I’m going home” He explains. “I live in the same neighborhood as yours” He added.

Sungjin nods along with a sigh thinking the students earlier were just bored of their lives and looking for some trouble from someone who is as quiet as Dowoon.

Dowoon is an ordinary student with good grades. Usually a loner yet also known as a math whiz of their school, winning all kinds of math quiz bees inside and outside the school ever since he was transferred to the current school during ninth grade.

“How come I didn’t see you before? We should walk home—“ Sungjin pauses in his words with a chuckle. “Ah, that’s not a good idea right?” He says upon remembering Dowoon has a boyfriend.

“Yeah” Dowoon nods awkwardly.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to hold this conversation without getting awkward”

“That’s.. fine” Dowoon breathe out, awkward and blushing.

“I’ll still take you home tonight though. I don’t think it’s right to leave you alone like this” Sungjin abruptly mentioned before standing up. “Take all of this at home” He says while Dowoon had his head up to look at him. Putting the box of band-aid and some medicine left on the black plastic. “Make sure you apply the medicine everyday. There’s extra band-aids, use them well okay? Put it on your face properly to avoid infections from any skin contact”

“Thanks” He replies shortly from the demands.

“Are you coming to class tomorrow?” Sungjin asks as they walk home together on the deeper night.

“I don’t think so”

Sungjin nods. He completely understands if he doesn’t go to school.

“I think that’s a better option. Tomorrow’s a Friday anyway. Go visit a doctor as well to check your other injuries. Also, if they do something to you again and you need help, I’ll be here. Just contact me. Here.” Sungjin passes his phone to the younger.

“Put your number” Dowoon hesitantly took the phone and blinks up in a few steps before deciding to type down his number.

After passing back the phone, Sungjin rings up the younger’s phone so now they both have contacts to each other.

“We’re here” Dowoon says and Sungjin stops from his step to take a look of the younger’s huge house.

“Thank you again Sunbae-nim.”

Sungjin hums before going back to his direction.

“Be careful next time” He says and Dowoon watched his back from the gate before he let out a scoff and head inside. Sungjin is a lot of a nagger than he thought, he fits his position well.

“Have you seen Dowoon?”

Sungjin glances from his seat on the cafeteria who is with his closest student council friends on a round table. He subtly checks out Jaehyung asking Dowoon’s classmates of his whereabouts however no one could answer his question. He had his phone on his ear later before dropping it in disappointment.

Jaehyung’s worried look bothered Sungjin for some reason and suddenly had an urge to tell him what happened however he made a promise to Dowoon so he let his ears and eyes return to his own seat. To put himself at ease and avoid someone else’s problems.

Today, Sungjin decided to walk home again. After the long day of staying at the student council’s room, they finally came up with an extremely good idea. He’s been stressing himself lately so walking home is the least he can do for a healing.

However, the expected peaceful night isn’t actually it is gonna be. A quick footstep is coming close to him from the familiar boy he talked to the other time.

“Hyung!” Dowoon roughly says from his breathless tone, widen eyes upon meeting each other once again. Sungjin stares at him in confusion.

Dowoon screws his eyes shut in a second before hearing a running steps close to them and decided to drag Sungjin along with him. He grips him tightly on the hand and ran as fast as he could to hide once again on the dark alley they last met.

Dowoon and Sungjin breathes heavily after hiding away and losing the sound of the running steps.

“What—what’s going on?” Sungjin asks under his heavy breath. Sweating from his forehead and back just like Dowoon. Slightly frantic about the sudden turn of situation.

“I’m sorry.. I’m really sorry..” He says after catching his breath.

He stares at the far end corner of the alley before seeing the shadows of the other guys chasing him. He held his breath and gripped Sungjin’s hands tighter. Noticing the grip and the nervousness drawing in Dowoon’s eyes, he thought of what’s going on and kept his mouth shut until they could both hear the footsteps coming loudly until it disappeared.

Sungjin was able to peek of the guys chasing Dowoon and recognized them as those three guys from other time too.

Illuminated by the streetlight from the dark alley, he turned to Dowoon in furious state of mind. However Dowoon was smiling, he looks genuinely happy. Maybe he is happy after losing them but that doesn’t make anything less worrisome.

“Yoon Dowoon.. Be honest with me. Are they bullying you? I’m going to report them to the school’s—“

Dowoon’s smile swept away upon hearing Sungjin’s statement.

“Don’t.. please, don’t do that” Dowoon stands up. Letting Sungjin’s hand go but the tingle from the tight grip earlier remains on their palms.

Sungjin follows him.

“This is dangerous, Dowoon. They’re gonna kill you if you let them be. I’ll protect you so just testify for me and everything will be fine”

“No, you have to stop there” Dowoon shakes his head. His voice is calm yet shaken in anger and fear.

“I—“

“Shut up!” Dowoon yells. His voice echoes from the alley. “You won’t understand! If my parents finds out I’m in trouble, the situation will only get worse!”

“No, it won’t! Why in the world would it get worse? We can get you out of this mess—“

“I hate it when they get involve of my life” Dowoon cuts him off with a cold stare from the furious look on the older’s eyes.

“Then are you letting yourself get killed?!” It became quiet for a second before Dowoon responds.

“Yes.. yes, I do” He calmly replies with the eye of hurt and pain before walking away.

It left Sungjin speechless for a moment before catching up to Dowoon to convince him once more.

“At least tell Jaehyung. He is worried—“ Sungjin gently speaks.

“No” He says before stopping from his steps, turning to Sungjin. “Sunbae-nim. I apologize for dragging you here. I know you’re only concern as a student council’s president but I promise, this is gonna be the last time. Please, avoid me at all cost”

Dowoon tried to leave however Sungjin has pulled him by gripping him gently to his wrist.

“Dowoon-ah” Dowoon brushes his arms off, leaving Sungjin in the dark alley.

Sungjin ponders about Dowoon over the weekend. He walked pass the convenience store and pharmacy in the afternoon and let his feet stray on the empty playground and sat himself on the swing. He do want to see the younger. He lives close by but that doesn’t allow Sungjin to take his feet on his house.

Dowoon still wouldn’t get out of his mind the next day after their last conversation so he decided to call or at least message him however, for the five hours of waiting for a respond, Dowoon never picked up or at least seen the message. The last option is to find him in his classroom. Some students gossiped at the unexpected appearance of the student council’s president. The news might’ve reached Jaehyung by now but he couldn’t care less. Dowoon matters the most.

Dowoon glares after coming out of the classroom. Their eyes are locked to each other without a word. Sungjin is calm, like how he usually is. The students began to assume their relationship for stupid fun and whoa-ed as they walk together leading to the rooftop. Wonpil had his hand on his pocket, standing beside Ahyeon as they watch them disappear from their sight. Passing by their classroom where Jaehyung and Younghyun could see, surprised as to how and why do they know each other.

Sungjin don’t remember how long they had seen each other after noticing the disappearance of the bruises from the younger’s face as if nothing happened.

“Why are you doing this to me? Do you want the attention?” Dowoon scowls.

“Dowoon, it’s not like that” He gently explains.

“No? You could’ve just ignored what happened last time and moved on. Why do you have to do this?” He frustratingly says before shutting his eyes to calm down. 

He then disappointingly stared to Sungjin before deciding to leave but Sungjin already had enough of it. He’s already getting tired of being left with misunderstanding from the same person so without realizing of what he is doing, he grabbed Dowoon’s wrist to force him to stay. Dowoon brushes his hands off like the last time but this time he could not get out of Sungjin’s grip and was pinned on the wall. His usual sparkling orbs are filled with darkness.

Dowoon doesn’t do anything. He could only shoot a sharp glare to the older’s eyes but he is calm at the situation as if this is nothing compare to his past experiences.

“You are not leaving until I am done!” Sungjin screams in anger and Dowoon smirks until it became a laugh.

“Yah! Do you think this is funny? Is your life that funny?!” Sungjin muses, eyes widen from the outrage.

“Park Sungjin.. Why does it matter to you? Are you bored? Just because everyone likes you doesn’t mean you can do everything you want”

“I can do anything I want” Sungjin grits his teeth as he speaks.

“Wow, I hope everyone is seeing your true colors, Mr. President” Dowoon chuckles.

“Yah! I know you don’t appreciate my help. You don’t care about your life but I can’t ignore you. You’re messing my head. I don’t care if you don’t want my help but like I said I’m doing whatever I want!”

Sungjin slams a palm on the wall right beside Dowoon’s face to burst his anger out until he doesn’t want to stay any longer and decided to let go of the younger but before he could, Dowoon has already changed their positions and he is being pinned on the wall. He doesn’t remember either but Dowoon’s lips are on his, forcing its way to his mouth. He tastes like the cafe latte they could buy on the coffee shop on the next street close to the school. It is rough, it is sweet but they shouldn’t be doing this. However, Dowoon had his both hands to Sungjin’s cheek pressing himself more to the older.

Sungjin kept pushing him from his shoulder. Punching him on his chest but Dowoon just won’t stop until he decided to.

Sungjin breathes out dizzily as if he was being chased by someone like the last time he ran with Dowoon. His anger are blasting up to the sky and Dowoon brought his lips close to Sungjin’s ear.

“You’re cute sunbae-nim. But don’t pity on me”

Sungjin ended up blowing a single punch on a person’s face for the first time before leaving the rooftop.

Dowoon once again smiles to himself as he watch Sungjin leave and slam the door. He then stare at the blue sky and the blazing sun and whispered to himself.

Beautiful.

“Yoon Dowoon” The now familiar voice of the sunbae calls him out. Finding him standing outside the school gate, holding the strap of his bag, waiting for him.

Dowoon’s eyes trailed to the older’s hand that had punched him earlier and saw a light pink bruise on it as he approach. Before taking his attention to the older’s who looked fine, as if nothing happened earlier.

“You’re not really giving up. Aren’t you?”

“Let’s go home” Sungjin says.

“I’m not going home”

Sungjin pushes Dowoon by the shoulder so he would walk first.

“Yes you are. Lead the way, I’ll take you home”

Dowoon glances to Sungjin without the need to convince.

“I want to drop by the coffee shop. I’ll treat you” Dowoon says as he take the lead, not going home but to the coffee shop.

“How do you know I like Iced Mocha?” Sungjin asks after receiving the drink from Dowoon’s hand. Walking out now from the coffee shop by Dowoon pushing the glass door for them.

Dowoon only pucker his lips and shrug before taking a sip of his own coffee. Walking side by side on the way to their homes.

“Yours is a cafe latte, right?” Sungjin tried to confirm and Dowoon blinks up at him.

“Earlier.. you taste..” Sungjin tried to explain without getting awkward. Eyes straying to somewhere else. Touching his own lips. And Dowoon nods at him in understanding with a soft chuckle.

“Did you like it?” Dowoon teases.

“Yah!”

Dowoon chuckles at the flush on Sungjin’s cheeks and his priceless reaction.

“I’ll forgive you of what you did earlier but don’t do that again. You’re gonna hurt Jaehyung”

“Do you think this whole thing we’re doing right now is not hurting him? I never let him take me home but you did. Everyone is talking about us. About your potential boyfriend” Sungjin glances to Dowoon to make sense of the last word.

“I’m talking about the Vice President?”

“What? They say that?”

“Why not.. you’re always together”

“He’s just my best friend..” He gasps.

“I know.. you don’t need to explain”

Sungjin doesn’t take his eyes off the younger. He knows it’s strange but it feels like Dowoon knows him so well. Or he is just a good observant. An understanding person who won’t judge him. By the thought, Dowoon is a cool person. Only if he is less rude and would listen to him.

“I hope he doesn’t misunderstand. Explain the situation or at least give him an excuse. I’ll try to help you somehow” Sungjin continues.

“What you’re doing right now is already causing misunderstanding to everyone. It won’t be a surprise if he thinks like them” Dowoon says cooly.

“You talk like you don’t care at all. Do you want him to break up with you?“

“I wish he does. I’m tired of him”

“Yah”

“What? I’m just telling the truth”

Sungjin doesn’t talk anymore and looked down to his shoes from unknown guilt building on his stomach.

“Park Jaehyung.. he was pitiful from our first encounter. I told him plenty of times I don’t like him but he still wants to date me anyway. So I just went along. I knew it from the start, it won’t work. I hope he regrets it sooner or later so he’d let me go”

“I thought you care about him” Sungjin glances up to him and Dowoon placed his both hand to his pocket, looking forward.

“I do. That’s why before I hurt him any further, he should let me go. So I could die peacefully.. I’m asking you the same thing as well”

“Don’t say that.. if its about those guys, I can help you with their expulsion. Those kids have records”

“But expulsion doesn’t mean they’ll stop right there”

Sungjin doesn’t say anything because Dowoon is correct.

“What happened to you? How did you went to this mess?”

“It was nothing special. I messed up with their leader. He hated me and now his minions began torturing me”

“That can’t be it. But if it is, that’s a childish fight. And no matter how childish it is, I’ll protect you Dowoon-ah”

“You can’t even punch me properly” Dowoon teases but Sungjin doesn’t get irritated or finding it funny either.

Dowoon stops from his tracks and only natural for Sungjin to stop either, now looking to each other with the sunset staring at them in yellow and orange.

“I’m smart, you know” He says.

“We’re here” Dowoon responds.

Only then, Sungjin came to realize how fast they’ve reached their destination. Dowoon has finished his coffee but he’s still halfway there.

“I forgot to ask you before but don’t tell the kids about how I live. I don’t like it”

“You’ve got a lot of secrets”

“Yeah.. Whatever. Come in”

“No it’s fine. I’m leaving” Sungjin says in rush. His heart drumming loudly to his ears over the invitation for no reason.

“Stay.. please.. let me pay you back from the last time”

Sungjin stares at him in question. But Dowoon gently grab his hand and held it to their face level.

“You’ve got a wound here” Sungjin only noticed the bruises on his knuckle after being mentioned. He’s surprised to not felt anything earlier. Perhaps he was thinking so much about Dowoon. So without any hesitation, Dowoon led him inside without letting their hands go.

“Stay here. I’ll be back” Says Dowoon after leaving him on the huge living room to go upstairs. Empty and silent. Out of boredom, Sungjin took a fancy of everything in the room. And saw photos of the young Dowoon holding his mom and dad’s hand happily in his birthday hat and casual wear. Sungjin smiles endearingly at the photo.

“What are you looking at?” Sungjin turned to Dowoon upon hearing his voice, stepping down from the staircase.

“Your photo.. your parents?” Sungjin ask as he walk close to the younger.

“They won’t be here. They’re on a separate business trip. Helpers only visit thrice a week and she was here yesterday so, I’ll be alone tonight”

“Why? Who cooks for you then?”

“The helpers. I just don’t like them coming here too often so I only reheat the food they make. I can’t finish them alone anyway”

Sungjin nods. Looking at the small white kit on Dowoon’s hand.

“Give me your hand” Dowoon suggests after they both sit down on the black comfy couch of the living room.

Sungjin allows the younger to take them and clean the wound on his hand. Eyes lingering to Dowoon’s face. He noticed another bruise on the younger’s face and regretted what he have done earlier.

Dowoon lightly dabs a small amount of ointment. Blowing on the skin so it doesn’t hurt as much.

Sungjin finds him more and more endearing. He talk so mature yet he acts like a kid. He fondly stare at the younger, liking the way he hold his hand gently and carefully.

“You’ll regret looking at me that way..” Dowoon looks up to him, closing the ointment’s cap.

Sungjin’s heart thumped so fast the moment their eyes met. Although Dowoon doesn’t look at him the way he does, he is excited and it will drive him crazy if he doesn’t leave right now.

He wants to leave but he is stuck on his seat the moment Dowoon cupped his cheek. Brushing his thumb to his skin. And Dowoon’s face are tinge by the rose, ears boiling hot but that doesn’t stop Dowoon to move his fingers to the older’s nape.

Sungjin could finally see the way Dowoon look at him. It is deep in adoration. There’s a hint of sadness and longing yet it so lovely and careful. Dowoon is warm and tender and Sungjin almost lost his breathe just by the way the younger is staring at him.

Dowoon quietly leans in reflecting each other’s eyes and Sungjin swallows a lump from the dryness of his throat. His heart rushing on his chest. Waiting for Dowoon to do something. And seeing the same look on Sungjin’s eyes, Dowoon doesn’t hesitate to lean further and delve in for a kiss.

Sungjin had a cold feet when their lips gently touched. His hand doesn’t know where to touch until it found it’s way to Dowoon’s chest. Sliding up to the back of younger’s neck to pull him closer and closer to his lips as if there are more spaces between them. And Dowoon outdid his desire because Dowoon is now sitting on his lap with his both legs tangled around his waist.

They both tilt their heads to have more access, to delve in to the sweet and bitter taste of their lips. The innocence has turned aggressive and Sungjin is pushing his tongue to the younger’s mouth. Dowoon then willingly let him in, making the kisses hotter and hotter. Exploring each other’s mouth. Nipping to each others lips. Making lewd noises and breathless sound inside the house with no restrictions. Without noticing, Sungjin wanted Dowoon more to himself and pushes their bodies to the couch without separating their lips. Crowding to the younger’s body. Dowoon still had his legs wrapped around the older, embracing and rubbing his back with his fingers before going back to the strand of the older’s soft brown hair, pulling them to let Sungjin’s lips be closer to his. Until they can do it no more and they have to separate their lips to one another.

Sungjin’s heart thumped harder when their eyes met. He knows what he is doing right at this moment is wrong, he is guilty but Dowoon’s words from earlier when they talked about Jae, washes the guilt away and he knows now he wants Dowoon for himself. He selfishly wants Dowoon for himself.

From the overwhelming feeling stirring to Dowoon’s insides, a tear fell on his eye leaving confusion to Sungjin. He began to sob as he hold the older to his embrace. Burying his head to the older’s neck.

Sungjin then sit them down and held the younger to his arms, caressing his back until he is better. His clothes are damped now with tears but it doesn’t matter.

It is dark outside and they haven’t turned the lights on yet. Leaving them both in the darkness they seemed to not mind at all.

“Why did you cry?” Sungjin had his arms around the younger still caressing his shoulder to make him better. Now his eyes are puffy, lips are red from the kiss earlier that Sungjin might see through the dim lights reflecting from the moon outside.

“I don’t want to confess like this but I like you. I have always been in love with you” Dowoon stares fondly to Sungjin’s eyes as he professed.

Sungjin became baffled after hearing the confession. He feels like he is about to fly to the moon however.. Jae. Another wave of guilt flashes to his thoughts and looked away to the younger, taking his hands off him. Dowoon disappointingly clenches his fist to his own uniform at the action.

“Jaehyung.. I’ll break up with him” Dowoon says solemnly as if he could read Sungjin’s mind.

“I‘m so tired of running away from you. I didn’t know it’ll come to this. I’m still searching for a solution to my own problem to stay by your side so.. wait for me. Please..”

“I’ve gone crazy. I’m sorry” Sungjin says as he run his fingers to his hair. Rubbing his face on his own palm.

”Don’t be.. it’s our fate. It has always been” Dowoon leaves a weary smile on his lips. Sungjin furrow his brows even more. Confusion taking over him. And It has become silent for a while until Dowoon spoke again.

“Will you stay the night?” He asks as if its the chillest question to ask at this time.

“You know I can’t do that, Dowoon” Sungjin replies with frustration in his tone.

“I know. Its guilt tripping you because I’m dating someone. Perhaps, you don’t believe in me either.. even so.. will you stay with me at least just for tonight?” There’s the same unshaken tone to Dowoon. His calmer than he was earlier. Making everything he says more believable to Sungjin.

“Please don’t do this to me..” Sungjin ponders even worse at the way Dowoon gaze at him. His shaken belief is staring down at him. And he wants to say yes to the request even when he knew he shouldn’t.

“It’s okay. That’s better you know. But if you don’t want me, leave me alone. It’s for your sake” Dowoon doesn’t wait for the response any longer and teared up in silence as he stood up, opening the door for Sungjin. For him to leave.

Sungjin watched him from afar in heartache with the illuminating lights shining from the outside making Dowoon brighter. Making it harder for him to leave.

Sungjin stood up and walked with heavy steps as he gets closer to Dowoon. Not over to his pondering, he paused from his steps and turned to him.

“What if I want you. What should I do?”

“I need time. Meet me on the bridge, this Monday after class..”

There is only one bridge close to their address and Sungjin already know where it is.

“Okay.. See you..” He says under his breath. Holding his eye to the younger.

“See you..”

They both tell each other as if its a hidden promise they want to keep.

“Sungjin-ah. I thought you might want to hear the news but Dowoon broke up with Jaehyung” Younghyun gossiped in a lower voice like everyone else the moment they both took a seat inside the student council’s room.

Feeling uncomfortable of what he just heard, his eyes trailed anxiously to the few members inside the room just in case they heard what Younghyun said.

It’s been five days after what happened to Dowoon’s house. They haven’t met nor talk then. He’s been worried sick in case those kids whose been ganging up on Dowoon will hurt him again without him by his side. But Dowoon wouldn’t let them meet each other until Monday comes and today is a Monday.

“I see..” He replies shortly. Having no life in his tone.

“That’s it?” Younghyun’s small and sharp eyes widen from Sungjin’s reaction.

“What?”

“Just.. I thought you‘re friends. No?”

Sungjin doesn’t respond to the question. Instead he busy himself to organize the plans for the festival.

“You’re not friends or anything right? I knew it” Younghyun chuckles softly in a sound of relief.

Younghyun’s never been relief to someone’s misfortune and it’s strange to hear him laughing like that. Sungjin faces him and raises a brow.

Just like how long their friendship had been, Younghyun understood his facial expression immediately.

“It’s just I heard rumors that you were the cause of their break up. I think that was because of what happened last week so everyone began assuming. Thankfully I told them you two are not close” Younghyun answers with the smile still remaining on his face and it’s making Sungjin uncomfortable.

His hands turned into a fist under the table. His guilt is growing. Shame to his friend’s trust on him is making it harder for him to breathe. Of all people. He know its wrong but he just can’t simply give up on Dowoon.

Wonpil who has been paying attention to their whole conversation shook his head from Younghyun’s words.

“Let’s go back. Fifteen before class” Ahyeon tells them, putting an arm around Wonpil’s shoulder to drag him.

They arrived at the classroom with the students subtly staring to Sungjin. He could feel some eyes on him but Jaehyung is burning.

He could not concentrate to class and he just want to finish things over to meet Dowoon and hold him. The world is being cruel but he couldn’t help miss the younger.

So he got ready after the bell rings and grabbed his backpack to leave. Just like how some students began to leave. However Jaehyung is blocking his way. 

Sungjin looks up to the taller man, who is three or four inches taller than him.

“What did Dowoon told you?” Jaehyung calmly asks as if he doesn’t want to believe the rumors that it could be Sungjin.

Sungjin only stared at him for a few second before choosing not to speak his mind. He doesn’t want to be in trouble if he has to meet the younger tonight.

So he tried to walk pass the taller to leave however, the trembling fist of Jae and his belief has been crushed just by the attitude Sungjin is showing him. Jae’s blood boiled in anger, pushing Sungjin in a force to face him again, hitting some chairs from his back and it began to grab the few classmates inside the room’s attention.

Younghyun’s eyes widen in surprise and tried to calm Jae down. But Jae’s ears are deaf for anyone and his eyes are sharply glaring to the only person he wants to pay attention. Sungjin held a fist to control the anger pressuring his insides.

Questions began to run in his mind. What’s so wrong of wanting someone to own? Why can’t he like Dowoon? When Dowoon likes him like he does.

Sungjin is desperate to meet Dowoon and attempted to leave again however like earlier, Jae won’t just let him.

“Mind your own business” Sungjin lowly said to Jaehyung so it doesn’t grab any more attention to students.

“Dowoon is my business!” Jaehyung says a little bit louder from his anger. Making the not interested classmates turn to them and some students from other rooms check up on them.

The two doesn’t have the time to notice the number of students around them. They are too focus on the anger scourging in them.

“Was your business!” Sungjin emphasizes. Pointing a finger on Jae.

Tears well up to Jaehyung’s eyes. And chuckled like a crazy man, echoing the room.

“I knew it! I fucking knew it! You did something to Dowoon! You seduced him, didn’t you? Huh?! TELL ME PARK SUNGJIN!” Veins are bursting to Jaehyung’s head. His pale color turned to red. His small eyes became wider as he poke his finger with power to Sungjin’s chest, pushing the brown haired backward to lose his balance.

Sungjin doesn’t respond. He lost it. The fear and anxiety he had earlier has disappeared out of anger drawing in him.

“Woah! Really?” Jaehyung exaggerates.

A tear fell from the taller’s eyes. Due to the hurt and betrayal. It so unfair to be Sungjin’s opponent. He’s been trying so hard to win Dowoon for a long time, how could Sungjin do it without even trying.

The crowd gets larger without any notice. Jaehyung steps backward to look at him from head to toe and judge him.

“Everyone look! Your model student and Student Council President, Park Sung Jin seduced my own boyfriend for his own” Jaehyung spreads an arm for the audience as if they are watching a magic show and clapped slowly in front of Sungjin, without the change of his bitter expression.

“We’re done now, right? I have to go” Sungjin says and as if it’s a cue, his phone ring a message. He quickly check the notification and saw the message is from Dowoon. Letting him know that there might be a delay on their meet up today.

“Who was that?” Jaehyung asks but he didn’t hear.

It made Sungjin nervous and he wants to run and find him now, worried the younger might be in trouble but Jaehyung’s stubbornness won’t let him so without a choice, he grabbed the collar of Jaehyung’s clothes as if he is pouring his anger and rage.

“If something happens to Dowoon. I’m really going to kill you”

Some gasped and some became thrill at the sudden comment. Making every single thing Jaehyung just said believable but to the taller’s mind, it’s running different thoughts. Because he should be running for Dowoon but why does it have to be Sungjin?

“Do you really think I will let you meet him? As if” Jaehyung punches Sungjin on the face and everyone moved back to watch the exciting scenario. Sungjin punches him back despite of not knowing how to.

Younghyun became startled of the situation and tried to get them away from each other. Some students are now trying to pull Jaehyung away from Sungjin. Knowing he can never win to Jaehyung when it comes to physical fight however the darkness building on the taller’s heart and his blurry eyes won’t let him stop.

Sungjin is now on ground being punched repeatedly until he couldn’t move any longer.

“Why does it have to be you?! Why? Why? Why?”

Wonpil had ran to the teacher’s lounge however no one is there either. He learned from Ahyeon in which she also got the source from other students that they are running their monthly meeting today.

Some students are still trying to help and some are too of a coward. But they have to wake Jaehyung back to his senses or he is going to kill Sungjin.

The teachers are late and Sungjin has already lost his consciousness. Wonpil has called an ambulance fifteen minutes ago. Younghyun cried beside his best friend and went together with him to the hospital.

Jaehyung is in the state of shock after he realized what he had done. He began to scan himself and saw the blood on his fist, spilling to his clothes. He doesn’t move to his position where he had punched Sungjin and he only did when he was taken away.

Wonpil and Ahyeon obtain the phone number of Dowoon from Sungjin’s phone. Younghyun gratefully knows his password. They scanned the text exchange Sungjin had with Dowoon but nothing is suspicious because there hasn’t been any of it. Just a question of going to school or not. About taking care of itself that Sungjin usually says to anyone. Then the last message from Dowoon about delaying their meet up and after ten minutes he is canceling it.

Wonpil calls Dowoon to tell him what happened at the school however there hasn’t been any respond after calling five times.

They went to visit his house to find him. They rung up the doorbell and a gloomy old auntie, wrinkled on the skin of her eyes and her black hair in mixture of white, opened the gate for them after saying they are looking for Dowoon. In front of the open door, they saw few people crowding inside the house, wondering what happened they faced the aunt.

“Auntie, we’re looking for Dowoon..”

“I know but he isn’t here anymore. He’s in the hospital. And Dowoon left a note. It says for Sungjin, do you know who that person is?”

The two nods at her.

“Okay. Stay here. I’ll get it from his room”

When they received the note, it says: Hyung, I’m sorry. I can’t be with you this time.

“Auntie, what does this note mean?”

“Why is Dowoon at the hospital?”

Ahyeon and Wonpil simultaneously asked.

The aunt only shook his head. Not understanding the note either.

“He tried to kill himself”

“Which hospital is he now?!”

The two quickly ran to the same hospital where Sungjin is admitted to find Dowoon. They got a phone info of the person Dowoon is with at the moment. Another auntie that works for Dowoon’s parents.

But just as they arrived, they found Dowoon with no life. He bled too much before he was found. It has been estimated that he must be lying on his room for ten minutes before someone found him. He was not breathing when he had arrived and had pronounced him dead.

The shock made Wonpil tear up. Despite of having no connection to the student, he feels bad especially when it is someone so special to his friend.

Ahyeon got Wonpil to his senses to find Sungjin in the hospital. Luckily he’s still alive but getting hit for many times on the head got him concussion and it might take time for him to wake up.

But Sungjin woke up the next day, feeling fine. As if nothing happened. He doesn’t have any wounds at all. He thought it might just be a bad dream. It seemed to impossible. So he got up from his bedroom to get dressed for school but when he went down to get breakfast, he found the latest morning news on the television his dad is watching too familiar but he didn’t mind it that much. He picked up his phone to call his boyfriend as he chew his bread and make sure he has woken up so they could go to school together. But he couldn’t find Dowoon’s phone number nor the messages they exchanged last night.

He accidentally saw the date on his phone and went to check the television again. It’s similar. So he asked his dad of the same question and he answered him the same.

If he isn’t going crazy right now. This is the day he and Dowoon met for the first time.

“Good luck on your first day of school, son!” His dad said as he tap his shoulder.


	2. Second Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sungjin travels back in time. Will he choose among the two paths he had seen or will he open a new one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember we time skipped on the first chapter? We will go back on that time and the opening will be the continuation to Sungjin’s realization from last chapter
> 
> Warnings: Mention and Graphic depiction of death.
> 
> Settings: Busan

Sungjin‘s phone rings up as he was frozen staring to it. The caller ID presented is Younghyun, his best friend’s name. However, his mind is still in the midst of making some sense to the unusual situation. Perhaps this is only a dream and he dreamt for too long. Could it be a dejá vu?

He’d rather believe it only if there’s no memory existing in his head. Clearly, it was the final exam of their senior year yesterday. He was with Dowoon the night before.. before..

The phone ringing was quick to be picked up in a throbbing heart upon the strange realization. Hoping what has happened last night wasn’t true.

“Yah, what day is it today?” He says shaken yet calm and serious in tone the second he accepted the call.

“Uhh.. Monday..?” Younghyun answers in unsure tone as he absorb the sudden question. “Our first day of class.. and I’m calling you to hurry up because we need to meet before your speech..?” He says in more like a question form after getting the grasp of the supposed purpose of his call.

“Speech? What spe..” Sungjin pauses mid sentence. 

“You’ll have to speak in front of the new students. It’s your first duty as the new Student Council President, remember? Is there.. something wrong?” From the wavelength of Younghyun’s tone, his instinct is telling him that something’s bothering his best friend. Because he knows, Sungjin isn’t usually anxious, and especially not in the morning he’s been waiting for since he won the election.

Meanwhile, Sungjin began to process the day his best friend is talking about. That was the first day of senior year. It was the only time Younghyun pestered him regarding a speech.

“Sungjin, are you.. okay?” Younghyun worries after hearing the only noise of television playing in the living room and the utensils on the kitchen. The usual routine of Sungjin’s parents even Younghyun knows.

“See you..” Sungjin says under his breath before dropping the call. Putting the phone on his pocket. Grabbing his black backpack to leave the house without a goodbye. His mom yells about finishing his food before leaving that he didn’t bother to answer.

Sungjin took a quick look on his box-shaped dark colored wristwatch, contemplating whether he should head to Dowoon’s place or go straight to the school. In a quick second, he stood frozen on the intersection. If he goes straight from where he is standing, his feet will take him to Dowoon’s house after two more streets. If he goes left, it will be the convenience store close to the bus stop.

There’s a chance of not finding the younger on his house at this time however if he goes straight to the school, there’ll be a sure chance to find him. So Sungjin took a bus instead.

He ran inside the campus where new students are busy searching for their classrooms whilst the others are busy catching up with one another after the long break.

He slows down from his quick steps while catching his breath the moment he got inside the hallway and found Younghyun with a gleeful smile on his face and a hand waving a piece of paper on him in which he already know what would it be.

Sungjin advances to Younghyun in a normal step, accidentally bumping into a person after losing his focus to the crowd.

“I’m sorry” The student apologizes from his cave-like deep voice and Sungjin felt creep to his stomach. It’s the voice of the person he is looking for. He was quick to whip his head and look to the now leaving dark haired man. The anxiety of not getting acknowledged by the person he had been with for two years made Sungjin do an impulsive move by grabbing the student’s arm to prevent him from leaving.

He was right. It’s Dowoon. It has always been Dowoon. He does remember this kind of scenario happening to him twice and now it’s the third. Was it all Dowoon even from the past? To the past that doesn’t exist.

Meanwhile, there’s a shaken gaze on those brown orbs in surprise before his brows creases into annoyance. Pulling his own hand as hard as he can. Sungjin watch the younger’s back as disappointment begin to grow in his heart. Dowoon doesn’t recognize him anymore.

“Sungjin-ah, what happened earlier?” Younghyun asks, standing next to him. Even so, Sungjin‘s focus is somewhere to the distance, staring at the person he bumped earlier that Younghyun wasn’t able to see the face from the students passing by and how fast things happened.

Younghyun brought a hand on Sungjin’s shoulder blade after a minute of only standing next to him with a creasing brows and unreadable expression on his eyes.

“Are you feeling sick? Do you want to go home?” Younghyun asks consistently.

Sungjin only shook his head before his eyes fell off to the ground. He never even once glanced to Younghyun’s face. 

Snatching the piece of paper Younghyun was holding, he took off to the closest wash room of the building and read the speech written. It was a similar content to what he had seen in the past. He knows, it was easy to remember even if a year has passed. It happened twice and he couldn’t understand how he wasn’t able to realize it the second time it happened.

On the empty wash room, in front of the mirror with his both hands leaning on the counter of the sink, he stared to himself as if he is curious to know if he had changed. If he gained a strange power to get a hold of the future. His hair is darker in brown shade compare to his last year in senior, it means its just colored when he followed Younghyun last two weeks ago to change his hair color to black, for the sake of changing his image as an officer of the student council. And.. Dowoon. It’s not the Dowoon who would always give him a warm gaze and loving smile. The one out there was the Dowoon from his hazy memory.

“Sungjin..” Younghyun calls low in a softer tone. Worries still entangled to his mind as he look to Sungjin who’s in deep thoughts.

Meanwhile, Sungjin didn’t realize Younghyun’s still waiting for him until he called his name.

“You can always tell me anything..”

Sungjin’s head is hanging low. Eyes are on the sink as he listen to the comforting words of his friend. He closes his eyes in a second to get a hold of himself before blinking back to the sink.

“I don’t.. I don’t know how I’ll explain it to you..”

“I’ll try to understand everything.. just.. don’t pressure yourself, okay?”

“The speech you wrote.. what if I have seen them before?” He turns to Younghyun.

“How..? I haven’t shown you this version yet..”

“That’s the point.. why am I here?!” Sungjin fisted his hair. Frustrated of not being able to explain things clearly.

“What.. what are you trying to say?” Younghyun asks patiently.

“Is it possible to travel back in time? Perhaps.. is it possible to dream of the future? What else is in there?” Sungjin asks in one breathe.

“Sungjin..” Younghyun calls for his best friend’s name but it seems like he is only clouded by his own thoughts. His usual sparkling dark orbs are all over the place as if it’s looking for an answer no one could tell him. He was never like this before. This is too new and terrifying to Younghyun’s side, he’s worried he won’t be able to help his friend so he brought his both hands to Sungjin’s shoulder blades and begged him to look him in the eye and when their eyes met. “Calm down..” He says softly.

Sungjin doesn’t say a word. Like he is still trying to register what his friend has said before he finally relaxed to Younghyun’s touch and nod at him.

“Okay.. so you’re saying you think this thing happened before?” Younghyun tries to be careful and understanding.

Sungjin nods.

“And you think you traveled back in time or you dreamt of the future?”

Sungjin nods again.

“Okay.. now what’s the problem? Why do you look distressed?”

Sungjin’s eyes began to tremble once again. His shoulders grows to tension. His fear doesn’t come to the reason of traveling back in time or waking up from a nightmare. It was the memory of his happiness and deceitful end of Dowoon which is piercing his heart. All the good memories he had has been erased, for Dowoon and to everyone. Yet all of those are stuck to his mind. It almost brought tears to his eyes until his few seconds of silence brought up his walls as he went to find his conclusion. Getting him back to his senses.

Whether it was real or not, perhaps, it was a premonition.. and this is a way to save them again.

Younghyun patiently waits. He waits until Sungjin will respond to his question. Their eyes are still locked to each other and in every passing second, Younghyun is getting betrayed from the withering hope he built with his best friend.

Sungjin’s brows raises in awe before it turned straight and stoic.

“It didn’t end happily.. and I’m afraid it’ll happen again..” Sungjin says quietly and Younghyun doesn’t say anything more.

It feels like if he force him, it will sound like he is prying. The Sungjin he knows won’t keep any secrets from him even in the smallest sentiments so if he wait a little more, he might tell him the truth. He hopes.

On the orientation for freshmen and new students, from where Sungjin is sitting at the corner of the stage beside the rest of the student council with Younghyun next to him which is carefully watching his actions, while their principal is in front doing her welcome speech, he finds Dowoon sitting quietly amongst the countless of students murmuring with other kids. His sight are focused on the lifeless orbs of the younger in a wishful thinking that Dowoon, like him, is pretending to be oblivious as well. That he actually have a recollection of their memories together. Even if it turned out to be a nightmare, to Sungjin it was still a beautiful nightmare and he’d desire to go back in time just to hold him once again; to turn it into a beautiful dream. But.. if it’s true, if he’s alone in this lonely and cruel world, he’ll do everything to get everything he had back.

Jaehyung walks in the classroom the same time Sungjin did. He greets him a good morning with a wide smile plastered on his porcelain-like face from the exciting first day. On the other hand, Sungjin was quite startled. The memory of guilt from the dark and miserable pain of Jaehyung who had loved Dowoon,the death which knocked on his door until he lost consciousness and woke him up from his long dream, was all coming back to him as he stare deeply on the soft and warm gaze of the blonde. However, he couldn’t be guilty for long. Because Dowoon was originally his. 

If the world has brought him to different universes, earning him memories of the travels he made, then he must’ve traveled twice. And on the first time, Dowoon was originally his. But the second was fucked up. They may still have fallen in love to each other but it was dangerous. The only thing that hasn’t changed was the tragic end.

“You okay?” Jaehyung asks in the spaced out reaction of Sungjin’s face.

“Of course. Good morning!” A faint smile draws on Sungjin’s lips.

The blonde lowly chuckles at the lost gaze of the shorter.

“You’ve got a lot in mind Mr. President.. I’ll go ahead”

“Yep, sure..”

For the past few weeks, he remain observant of his environment and watched Dowoon from behind, knowing this is the only right thing to do for now. Sometimes, he would walk home following the younger in a far distance, enough only to see him back home safely.

Sungjin may not be able to remember every detail of his surroundings but he knows the most memorable episodes. On his two memories where similar things happened, it’s always feels like experiencing a dejavú. Thrilling and frightening at the same time because if everything is going according to how it was before, it will become a cycle and Dowoon and him will be experiencing the same tragedy as well.

Sungjin follows the same timeline as he had on the original memory he had. He doesn’t want to force things out of the blue so he wait for the right time until he and Dowoon will meet again.

For the mean time, he had his little investigation of those boys who had hurt Dowoon according to his second memory. He doesn’t find them at school but he do remember their names and search them online. By stalking them through their public sns, he learnt they go to the same school Dowoon used to go in another city prior to transferring to his current school now.

Sungjin couldn’t put things to pieces yet. The only clues he has enlightened him to a possible occurrence of an unexplained situation that could’ve happened to their previous school. Although there’s no answer to his suspicions as for now, the thought of coming back to the day where they were complete strangers, there has to be a reason.

It was September, he remember. It was the day he first had a conversation with Dowoon. It was an ordinary day on the math club faculty room where he also first met Wonpil and Ahyeon. It was the time they were all gathered as a participant of their upcoming winter mathematics school to school competition.

Sungjin, Younghyun, Wonpil, Ahyeon and Dowoon are considered as the smartest in mathematics based on their first half semester grades.

Dowoon may not be the smartest to other subjects compare to everyone participating in the competition however, no one has beat him yet in school when it comes to mathematics and that’s why he was the most perfect candidate for the competition to join them.

For three months before the winter competition, they would gather to study on the math club room for preparation.

Dowoon was still the same, just like on the other loops. The quiet one among the participants. Only when he is asked a question or when he has to explain a formula are the times he talks a lot. So, despite of understanding the mathematic problems already since he had experienced solving the same problem in the past, Sungjin would still ask for Dowoon’s opinion or solutions.

At those times, Sungjin catches himself watching the way Dowoon talk, than solving the problem.

“Are you sure you got it?” Dowoon asks in irritable tone after noticing how Sungjin is spacing out.. again.. on their session.

The room is empty with only the two of them inside. Sungjin has asked Dowoon to stay for some questions he think is complicated to make it believable that he is having a hard time understanding them although he remembers how it was solved before. He’s even confident they’ll win the competition with a perfect score this time. But right now, he has to pretend he doesn’t know anything just to find a reason to spend more time with Dowoon.

“I think so..” Sungjin asks unsurely.

“Your grade is almost perfect, why are you asking me to teach you this?” Dowoon asks in still the same manner.

“It’s difficult.. I never got to learn this before..”

“It’s a middle school class!”

“Is it?”

“Sunbae..” This time Dowoon calls him a little too serious. Eyes squinting in suspicion. Thinking he was only wasting his time in this whole stupid session.

“What? Why are you calling me? I’m here..” Sungjin unwillingly whines after hearing the change of tone on Dowoon’s deep voice.

Dowoon sighs at the way their student council president is acting.

“You’re distracted..” He simply says before closing the book they were using to get the formulas and the notebook where Dowoon was writing.

“I’m not, it’s just you’re very cute when you do the pouty thing when you..” Sungjin explains before realizing he shouldn’t have said it because Dowoon’s cheeks right now are tinted in pink and his ears are red. His eyes grew wider and the unwanted gaze became a shy look in the eye. “...ex...plain” He says the last part a little late in the silence.

The second of silence snaps Dowoon out as he took his gaze away from the sunbae. He continued putting his book, notebook and pen on his bag without trying to organize them.

“Next time, you ask Ahyeon sunbae-nim to teach you” He says with his busy eyes straying somewhere else but Sungjin.

And Sungjin began to panic in his head. He just made Dowoon uncomfortable. If it was the Dowoon he was dating for sure he will only blush or kiss him as a thank you compliment but it’s not like that in here. Dowoon is not his.

“Wait.. Dowoon.. I didn’t mean—“ Dowoon glances to Sungjin in a glare, it made the sunbae hold his breath and stop talking. Confuse whether he should take back what he said or not.

When Dowoon had his eyes away back to his bag to put it around after he stood up, Sungjin catches his breath again to speak.

“No, I mean it.. What I mean is.. I don’t mean to say what’s on my— Dowoon..”

Dowoon has already shut the door of the room and Sungjin watched the door hopelessly before it opened again.

“Something happened?” It’s Wonpil and his oblivious curious eyes staring at Sungjin.

“Nothing..” Sungjin sighs in disappointment as he flops down on his chair and Wonpil nods at him as he walk close to pat his back in consolation.

“I think I offended him..” Sungjin says in the next few second of silence. Wonpil then decided to takea seat beside Sungjin after he began to open up. Resting his left cheek on his palm with his eyes on the poor sunbae.

“I think he’s embarrassed.. Next time you want to hit on him, do it properly. Ask him on a date”

“What? I’m not—“ Sungjin got so startled at Wonpil’s straightforward honesty.

It was no surprise how Wonpil can read people based on a person’s gestures and eye contacts. But Sungjin used to not know that side of Wonpil until they became part of the student council.

“Yes you are. You can’t lie to me”

If this was the old Sungjin, he would probably tense up at someone’s perspective of him but after getting caught as a Sungjin who find Wonpil as a familiar friend even if Wonpil doesn’t know him well at this time, he calms down.

“Am I obvious?” Sungjin casually asks.

“Not really. You’re a good actor but that doesn’t mean it can escape my eye” Wonpil cooly says.

“What should I do?”

Wonpil shrugs at Sungjin’s question and smirk.

“I don’t know. I don’t ask people to date me, they ask me..”

“I’ll bet. Sungjin sunbae’s gonna confess to Dowoon at the competition..” Ahyeon tells Wonpil who is sitting in the window’s side in the empty bus of the cold cloudy morning, with their Mathematics instructor, Mr. Shin, outside waiting for the late members of the winter competition to come.

“How do you think so?”

“Sunbae looks like he’s gonna eat Dowoon if he couldn’t date him..” Ahyeon and Wonpil laughs loudly in agreement.

“Let’s not bet the place. Let’s bet the day. We have three days on the hotel. I’ll say the second day” Wonpil confidently says.

“Okay. Mine is the third..” Ahyeon confirms her bet and just right at the moment, Dowoon appears inside the bus.

Wonpil and Ahyeon waves a hello at him with a wide smile on their suspicious faces, making Dowoon feel a little awkward and sit at least five distant chairs away from them who are sitting at the back.

“What‘s the winner’s price?” Wonpil lower down his voice so Dowoon doesn’t hear them.

“Younghyun” Ahyeon says in a soft chuckle.

“What?!” Wonpil became a little worked up at Ahyeon’s response because he knows what she means.

And Younghyun suddenly appeared in their sight with Sungjin behind him.

“The person who wins will ask Younghyun out..” Ahyeon says as she shows her signature sweet lip glossed smile to the two guys.

“You’re crazy..” Wonpil rolls his eyes before staring to the window with the school’s empty parking lot on his view. Since the semester is over, there’s not a lot of people who comes to the school anymore.

“Why? It’s fun.” Ahyeon’s tone is gleeful as the two guys waves back at him with a smile. Sitting together with an obvious hesitation on Sungjin’s eyes as he try to look away from Dowoon’s direction.

“I don’t ask people to date me.. you date him if you want”

“But you like him!” Ahyeon exclaims.

Wonpil whips his head to Ahyeon.

“You like him too..” Wonpil doesn’t deny. “Aren’t we friends because we like similar things? I’m gonna be a good samaritan, I’m giving you a chance with him” He says cooly before going back to his earlier position.

“You’re no fun” Ahyeon huffs as she scrunches her nose and crosses her arms.

There are three rooms prepared for them with two beds per room and one of the participants will have to sleep on the same room as their instructor. Without hesitation, Dowoon volunteers right away. Allowing the two best friends to sleep in the same room. It‘s also a chance for him to have peace from the awkwardness he feel towards Sungjin, Ahyeon and Wonpil. For him, Younghyun is the only normal person in the group thus, he is the only likable one, only if he is.

“I think Dowoon should sleep on the same room as Sungjin..” Wonpil suddenly says after the decision making.

“What?”

“Why?”

“Huh?”

Sungjin, Dowoon and Younghyun says in unison.

Their instructor whips his head on Wonpil and Ahyeon stares at him with question on her face.

Sungjin doesn’t remember this thing happening in the past. It must be his actions for the past few months which has change their present today. Trying to be close to Dowoon was already something he has never done before the days they spent on the hotel. He also haven’t held a confessing conversation to Wonpil before. And another thing is, this never happened in his second memory because Dowoon was never part of the competition. He only heard how Dowoon declined their instructor’s offer. Now it puts another question to Sungjin’s head. If things are going the same way as before, then on the second time, why did he met Dowoon a little later?

“He needs to make friends sir!” Wonpil began to dramaticize. Acting as if his heart is breaking for Dowoon. “Sungjin and Younghyun sunbae-nim is already close. Me and Ahyeon are best friends but for the past three months, Dowoon is still not close to us. What if we can’t be friends forever?”

“You sleep on the same room as Dowoon then..” Younghyun tries to justify.

“I can’t. Do you really think I’ll let my sweet Ahyeon sleep with you guys? Not you Younghyun, I’ll allow you!”

They suddenly feel like they can’t do mathematics from Wonpil’s logic. Their instructor’s face twitched slightly after getting offended on the remark. Younghyun squinted his eyes. Sungjin and Dowoon also doesn’t found sense to Wonpil‘s point but Sungjin does have an idea of what he is trying to do.

“Wonpil-ah, I’m not a bad person” Their instructor pouts.

“That’s not what I mean sir. I‘m only overprotective when it comes to Ahyeon. I can’t allow Sungjin or Dowoon sleep in my room. So, Sungjin sunbae should sleep in the same room as Dowoon. And if Younghyun sunbae doesn’t want to sleep in your room, I will go there instead. How about that?”

“I.. don’t think its a bad suggestion” Sungjin agrees to Wonpil. Making the others turn their attention on him.

Younghyun could’ve suggested of Sungjin sleeping on the same room as the instructor however he feels like Wonpil is scheming something. And he at least expected for Sungjin to decline the weird offer but he is taking the bait instead. It makes Younghyun uncomfortable over the fact he quite knows why Wonpil is giving out ridiculous idea.

“Good! What about you Younghyun sunbae-nim?” Wonpil cheers and looked forward to what Younghyun will say.

Younghyun’s eyes are locked on Sungjin as if he’s waiting for him to say something however, Sungjin’s only looking at Dowoon who is focused on grasping Wonpil’s point.

“I can sleep on sir’s room” There’s a hint of disappointment in Younghyun’s tone before he shiftedhis attention back to Wonpil.

“Are you sure? I’m allowing you to sleep in my room” Wonpil insists.

“Wonpil-ah” Ahyeon whispers to Wonpil in a gritted teeth.

“It’s okay. You two should hangout” Younghyun declines.

After they all settled to their rooms with an awkward Dowoon trying to keep his safe distance, Sungjin receives a cheering text from Wonpil, rooting for his relationship with Dowoon.

The message brought a smile pass to his lip and cheered him a bit. The months flew too quickly but his anxious heart couldn’t be at ease. His restless mind never ended as he keep seeing repetitive episodes of his day happening all over again.

It was interesting at first. It was frightening as well but as his journey went on, the loneliness sinks in to realization. He have everyone. His family, his best friend. His boyfriend whom he could at least watch in a distant. He still have everything. He has a chance to get everything back again but it feel different somehow. Perhaps its his impatience and his rushing heart which couldn’t wait to grasp everything in his hand again is the reason why he is becoming lonelier.

If only the tragedies never happened at all, next week would’ve been their graduation. He would’ve gone to his dream university in Seoul in which his parents has wished for him to go. Although he isn’t going to the same university as Younghyun, they’d still be on the same city. And he would’ve been able to fulfill the only promise Dowoon made with him.

It reminded him of their already faded past of Dowoon’s birthday which was also the mark of their eighth month of dating. It was a casual day on a coffee shop for a simple celebration with a red velvet cake although they both aren’t a fan of sweets. After the long day was over, the older still couldn’t stop the thought of leaving Dowoon alone on his own birthday. His parents are almost not home, making him independent and less expressive of his thoughts. The more he observes the younger, the more he thinks that maybe the reason why he’s indifferent is because of how he grew up. He doesn’t speak to anyone as there’s no one to hold conversation with at home, so it resulted for him to talk less to anyone. And so, Sungjin asked Dowoon to allow him to sleepover.

It was the first time Sungjin initiated a sleepover after the countless times of Dowoon’s invitation. He used to be so terrified of the sleepover for thinking he might do something unwanted. It would’ve been easier if its in someone else’s place, just like how a friend like Younghyun won’t affect him. However Dowoon is Dowoon. And everything about him is so damn attractive. He knows the younger won’t mind whatever may happen between them but it’s different on his case, he sees Dowoon as a fragile piece he wants to handle with care.

That night, Sungjin blushes way too much when Dowoon made his way to the bathroom while he was still on the bathtub. He was wearing a black robe before he took them off, exposing his toned muscles and and perfectly shaped abs. Dowoon is still on his boxers so he doesn’t really see what’s down there.

Shaking off his useless thoughts, Dowoon dipped down to the tub, expressionless. Face to face to each other.

“You’re always doing whatever you want” Sungjin protest in an expectant tone after Dowoon has settled on the tub with their legs touching each other and the younger’s feet is settled close to the older’s torso, in which he noticed the sunbae is unluckily wearing a boxers too.

“You never stop me” Dowoon smirks at the accusation. With his mind playing the thought of touching Sungjin’s torso from his feet to tease his over sensitivity when it comes to skinship.

“I’m tired, you never listen to me..” Sungjin then strays his gaze away from the younger to pay attention on the large bathroom with a design of checkered tiles of black and white. Everything inside is designed in either black and white, it must be Dowoon’s favorite color.

Sungjin’s neck then appeared very clear to Dowoon’s view, he could see a tinge of red rushing on his skin, ears burning as well. He quietly laughed at the sight. Sungjin must be nervous to be in the small space with him.

“Liar. You like it when I invade your space..” He teases.

“You don’t have evidence..” Sungjin still doesn’t look at him.

“I don’t have to..” Dowoon responds before he scooted to Sungjin’s side and positioned himself to comfortability. Slipping an arm to the bare back of the older and the other to his stomach. And when he felt satisfied to his position, he then leaned his head to the older’s bare chest in which he could hear a loud thump from his ears. Today, he feels a lot more clingy compared to the regular days.

Sungjin naturally pulled Dowoon closer to his side by putting an arm around his shoulder although there’s no space left for them since the bathtub is designed for one person only. He leans his chin on top of the younger’s head. A little more tense and nervous in every touch.

“See? You like it..” Dowoon proves his point. Sungjin then softly chuckled. Defeated and weakened when it comes to the younger’s touch. And in the passing time, he is becoming more and more comfortable to the arms settled around him. Liking every second of it.

“I wish everyday’s my birthday..” Dowoon mumbles lazily while closing his eyes. Enjoying every single second of the company.

“Hmm?”

“You’re here for my birthday. I like it..” Dowoon lifts his head to look at the older with a faint smile on his face.

Sungjin‘s eyes soften at the confession. Seeing a small smile on his face makes the sunbae’s heart jump in joy because as much as Dowoon wants to spend their everyday together. Sungjin also dreams of seeing the younger’s smile everyday.

He brought a hand to Dowoon’s cheek and rubbed his thumb on it. Making the younger blush to the simple touch.

“We can be like this one day everyday if we promise to be together for a long time” Sungjin says as his lip lifted to a smile. He then leaned closer to the younger’s face before Dowoon pushed him lightly from his chest to avoid the contact, turning Sungjin’s eyes into confusion.

“Hyung.. let’s not make promises”

Dowoon’s statement made Sungjin feel insecure. His face stoic. He began to wonder if he’s the only one who wants the both of them to last for a long time. Or eight months feels like he is rushing their relationship. Or Dowoon’s feeling might not be as strong as what he had expected.

“Why?” Sungjin’s eyes shaken in fear.

“It’s just.. everyone is failing to fulfill their promise and in case you can’t fulfill yours, I’m afraid I’d be disappointed”

“I won’t be like them..”

“Hyung.. I like you. I like you a lot I can’t describe it with words but that doesn’t mean the feelings I have for you at this moment would last forever. That’s the same as yours. We might be okay today but who knows what the future holds. We’re still young. College could change us. Our distance and your studies could become the reason why our feelings will fade away. The longer our relationship last, you might get tired of me and I might get tired of you too. That’s why.. we shouldn’t make promises for the far future. It will make me look forward from excitement. And if it doesn’t work out, what will it become of us? So.. let’s just love today until we get tired of each other. Let’s consider ourselves lucky if we are still together after twenty years.. hmm?” Dowoon then presses his lip to Sungjin and graced him with a tender smile.

The fear and the frown from Sungjin’s face slowly disappeared from the sweet smile for him. So he embraced the younger to his arms.

“You scared me, I thought I was getting ahead of myself..”

“I didn’t mean to scare you..“

“I like you too.. a lot..”

_I love you_

On the ordinary night before the final exam of their last semester. It was then, when they walked silently under the starless night, hand in hand.

Randomly, Dowoon paused from walking and they both stood at the intersection where it separates their homes. Dowoon seems to be deeply thinking of something for the few hours now and Sungjin could see it however, he doesn’t ask him anything. He waits until Dowoon will open up to him because he knows he won’t be able to hide it for a long time if something is bothering him.

So Sungjin only stared at him with a questioning eyes until Dowoon opened his mouth to speak.

“Hyung.. I know I said I don’t want us to promise anything.. but before you leave for college, I wanna promise you one thing.. I’ll be there in two years time, let’s live together. So.. wait for me” He gently gazed to the older as he hope for a positive response.

Sungjin then gratefully smiled to the younger. He breathes out in relief. And whichever gods made Dowoon believe that it’s okay to hold on to something, he will be eternally thankful.

“Okay, I’ll wait. I promise..” Sungjin squeezes Dowoon’s hand making the younger’s depressive thoughts disappear and uplift his mood.

“Let me take you home today.. hmm?” He offers.

“Let’s eat at home.. my mom is cooking something very delicious..” Sungjin replies.

“What is it?”

“Secret until we reach our house..” Sungjin whispers to Dowoon’s ears.

Ans he chuckled on the childish act.

“Dowoon-ah” Sungjin calls out after he had a warm shower while the younger is getting ready for bed.

Their beds are side by side like any hotels. White sheets, white pillows, white blanket. He is on the right where the windowsill is on his view, snow falling from the sky and the younger is on the left side of the room.

Dowoon is seated as he cover himself with the warmth of the blanket when Sungjin called him.

“Yes sunbae..”

Sungjin then plops down to sit on the left side of his bed where he could face the younger.

“I like you.. will you consider dating me?” He asked straightforward.

Dowoon freezes from his activity and whip his head to the serious look of the sunbae’s face. He is expressionless like always, unaffected. Like what Sungjin has been expecting. The first time he confessed too, Dowoon was like this.

“Is Wonpil sunbae your accomplice with this?”

“No.. he figured it out somehow.. and I didn’t asked for his help.. really!” Sungjin exclaims at the last sentence, just in case Dowoon will misunderstand their positions right now.

“Yeah, it’s okay. And you’re obvious. I was hoping you won’t come at me..”

Sungjin rubs his nape. Feeling embarrassed. He doesn’t really know how obvious he was. Now he wonder if Wonpil was lying about him being a good actor. What if everyone knows about it already. Since things turned out this way, it means he changed their present and he’s kinda nervous of the outcome. He only hope Dowoon won’t reject him.

“It’s too late now.. Even if he didn’t do this, I’ll tell you anyway. I’ll wait until you can give me an answer.. You should take a rest. Good night” Sungjin says in the calmest and coolest way possible before he pulled the blanket to cover himself and hide away from the seemingly unaffected reaction of the younger. This is hard for him, especially when he couldn’t read Dowoon’s mind.

“No need to think about it..” Sungjin rapidly lifts his head as he automatically sits up properly upon hearing the younger’s voice to pay attention on what he has to say. “I can give you an answer right now.. but..”

“But?” Sungjin swallowed from his dried throat.

“You’re the school’s president, will everyone know?”

“If you don’t want it to be public, we can keep it to ourselves.. I won’t tell..” He explains as he try to understand the purpose of the question and when he did, his eyes widen in shock to his late realization. “Is this a yes?”

“Hmm..” Dowoon nods in another calm reaction before lying down. “Good night” He says before he completely turned back from the older.

It sent thrills to Sungjin’s system as his mind repetitively tells him, “He said yes!” “He said yes!”. It’s strange, he dated Dowoon for more than a year but hearing the same answer makes him feel victorious, it’s like falling all over again and he wish it would last for twenty years or more, just like how they originally wants.

“Oh.. O-okay.. Don’t pretend you forgot about it tomorrow okay? Good—good night.. good night..” He stuttered to his excitement as the smile crept up on his face.

Little did he know, Dowoon too beams in a genuine smile under the blanket.

Their days on the unfamiliar city called Namyangju, ended quickly. Like what was Sungjin is expecting, they did won the first place of the competition different to how they won second place in the past. It was easier now compared to the first time they did this competition. The two memory he had, helped him remember all the questions in his head. It might be cheating but this competition was memorable for him. Besides, it was this competition which has brought Dowoon to him.

They spent their last day as free time with their instructor allowing them to visit places and come back in the afternoon so they could go back to Busan not in a later time.

Since Dowoon doesn’t want to reveal the nature of their relationship, Sungjin naturally chose to join Younghyun to his trips however to his surprise, Ahyeon and Wonpil decided to tag along, findinghim an excuse to bring the youngest among them.

“Sunbae.. did something happened between you and Dowoon?” Wonpil began to pry in his not-so-endearing sweet tone when he and Ahyeon suddenly dragged him on a safe distance outside of the store from where Younghyun and Dowoon are checking some clothes. Ahyeon also excitedly waits for his answer.

“Does Ahyeon know?” Sungjin bolts out in a wide eye.

“Of course! Everyone knows, even Sir Shin knows” Ahyeon excitedly replies. Still looking forward for his answer.

Sungjin faced palm on his head, now he doesn’t know what’s the point of keeping things secret when Dowoon also knows that everyone knows.

“So.. what happened?” Wonpil asked him again in a suspicious look. The two are surrounding him like some bullies and Sungjin suddenly began to feel pressure of whether he’ll answer them or not.

“I said yes..” A deeper voice from behind suddenly joined in. Everyone whipped their heads to the person who spoke, making Ahyeon and Wonpil squeal.

“Did you buy anything?”

“I didn’t like the quality”

Dowoon and Sungjin conversed in the background as they wait for the two to finish their weird screaming.

“Okay.. that’s perfect.” Ahyeon excitedly confirms. “Listen, so we had a bet and we need your help. Now the question is, when did you confess?”

Sungjin gaped in his head.. again. So they were anticipating for him to confess. He now feel dumber than the rest.

“After we all got our rooms” Dowoon tells them in nonchalance.

“Huh?”

“What?”

The two simultaneously asked as if they haven’t heard it.

Sungjin and Dowoon then raises their brows from the response.

“You mean the first night?” Ahyeon confirms and Sungjin hums.

“You’re faster than Usain bolt, Mr. Park Sungjin” Wonpil slow clapped in a not impressive way.

“Why?” Sungjin asks.

“I bet on the third day and he bet on the second” Ahyeon disappointingly answers.

Sungjin and Dowoon nods at them again. Not really sure of how they’ll feel towards this bet.

“I’ll treat you guys instead since you helped me share a room with Dowoon” Sungjin suggests and the two sad souls began to cheer again.

The couple doesn’t really get what’s going on.

“I have a question!” Wonpil had his gummy smile, making Sungjin nervous of the stupid questions.

“You spent a lot of time together in the room, did you have sex?”

Sungjin sighs upon hearing the question. Not surprised anymore. These two had always been like this. Random and weird but they’re fun. Hanging out with them is never awkward. Despite of their craziness, they just have the qualities he liked about them, they’re responsible and very good to what they have set their eyes on and that’s the reason why he chose them as one of his candidates on the Student Council, although it’s not happening yet but in the near future.

“Not yet..” Dowoon calmly answers, making the other two squeal once more.

If Wonpil and Ahyeon are crazy. Dowoon is a lot more than that. He seemed so mature yet innocent when it comes to answering people’s questions. Everything that comes out from his mouth are always blunt and honest. It scares Sungjin and he has to warn the younger sometimes but Dowoon can be indifferent and there’s nothing he could do. He found this guy here attractive and have fallen so deeply he couldn’t swim back no more.

“I’ll have to wait for hyung until he‘s ready”

“You’re calling him hyung already.. how about us?” Wonpil pouts.

“Right, oppa..” Ahyeon says cutely.

“Yeah.. call me hyung.. oppa.. Younghyun too.. I guess we’re close enough to be informal”

“Hey, I bought the shirt. What’s up?” Younghyun happily tells them who are gathered around outside.

“We’ll call you guys ‘hyung’ from now on” Wonpil smiles.

“That’s good.. Let’s keep hanging out”

“Are we done here? Let’s go” Dowoon says as he grab Sungjin’s hand to intertwine to his, walking first to the next store. The two hoobae’s wooed at the action, leaving Younghyun in disappointment.

The night is deep the hour they reached Busan. There’s the full moon shining brightly to their way. Sungjin said he wanted to take Dowoon home and so they walked from the bus station where they were left off to the same familiar intersection leading to Dowoon’s home.

Sungjin missed this feeling. During the times he was waiting for the right time to approach Dowoon, he never walked this far. He always has to stop on the intersection but Dowoon is here now, again with him. And he thought, people does not change after all. Whether its a good or bad fate, we’ll always end up going to the same person we want. Dowoon is unconsciously doing the same thing and so he does on the last loop he wasn’t aware of.

“Don’t tell the kids I live like this, it’s uncomfortable” Dowoon tells him in their last step in front of his house. Both of them face to face.

“Okay” Sungjin answers him unsurprised. It’s a thing he’s been through for the third time now.

“So..” Dowoon let out when they got silent and Sungjin kept staring at him without letting their hands go. Pink tinge seeps to Dowoon’s ears up to his neck at the feeling rushing over him. His heart skips a beat at the way those sparkling orbs fondly stares at him. He suddenly want to spend the whole night like this.

“Dowoon-ah..”

“Hmm?” He actively respond to keep himself from daydreaming. Sungjin then had a small smile on his lips as his eyes traveled to their intertwined hands with thumb rubbing his skin.

“You have me now so I hope.. I really hope you’d trust me to listen to all of your stories. I genuinely want to know more about you and every little things about you. If you let me in, we can be together for a long time if you want”

That night, when Dowoon promised him, he knows it’s what he wants them to be and he desperately wants to fulfill them.

The days he had thought of the loops he had been, he couldn’t help but see himself as a material of this travels and in the end, their fate is still on Dowoon’s hands. Honestly, if his confession didn’t work he almost planned to figure things out by himself but right now, since they’re here together he’ll try to hear it from Dowoon before he does anything.

“What if I don’t want to be together for a long time?”

Somehow, the question wasn’t as terrifying as he expected it’ll be. He knows Dowoon can be this random even if it could hurt the both of them. It upsets him sometimes and Dowoon will have to comfort him for his bluntness. But knowing the younger, the expectations of lasting for a life time isn’t something he would think about because Sungjin knows, the younger is terrified too. This was like that day when they were planting a flower together and he was already thinking of how it’ll wither.

Somehow, Sungjin isn’t as upset as he is after hearing what he had to say. After he saw all the things he didn’t wish it’ll happen, this is nothing compared to the pain he had felt before. So with a faint smile on his lips, a gloss emitting his eyes, he look to Dowoon.

“As long as you’re happy anywhere in this world, it’ll be fine”

He noticed it moved Dowoon by how his eyes strayed away from the contact. More than anything else, Sungjin wish it doesn’t make him feel guilty. And so for them to stop hurting each other, he held the younger tightly to his arms.

Dowoon freezes on his spot. Stiff and unsure of what to do. The arms wrapped around his body is too warm he couldn’t move at all. His mind gets blank as the scent hanging on the sunbae’s clothes is comforting him in every second. Without noticing his hands began to travel to the sunbae’s waist, holding on to the hems of shirt as his cheek rests to the broad shoulder.

“I live close by, do you want to meet after lunch tomorrow?”

“Hmm..”

The winter went by and the next semester came. The keeping secret agenda didn’t ended really well, everyone still found out how the student council president and the math genius transferee are dating. There’s different reactions after learning it but it died out eventually which is a good thing for the shy couple.

On their first official date, Sungjin had brought Dowoon a single flower. It was a camellia. Dowoon had curiously stared to Sungjin after receiving it so to the sunbae’s defense, he simply wants to be romantic for once after remembering his lame confession.

Dowoon isn’t fond of flowers but the meaning behind it somehow made him smile.  My destiny is in your hands . It came to his thought how he is like in-charge of keeping their relationship protected. It was probably what he had said that night which has made Sungjin bring such flower. He didn’t mean any harm when he asked, he was only curious. Although he likes Sungjin to the point of taking his hand after a simple confession, that doesn’t mean he likes Sungjin enough to give all of him. In the reality of all these, although he has seen the good side of the sunbae, he doesn’t know him well. What if he couldn’t accept all of him?

To keep the momentum, although he hasn’t tried giving flowers to any of his dates before, he had brought a flower pot for the sunbae. And with a flustered look, stuck on the sunbae’s face, he brought the pot to make up for that night. He wants to grow a flower and see if it’ll bloom along with their growing relationship. Sungjin did asked him what flower did he planted on the pot however, Dowoon doesn’t tell and commanded him to wait until it grows. He wants them to see it together.

With a meaningful reasons behind Dowoon’s actions, Sungjin called the gods he isn’t even sure exists just to thank them for giving him back the Dowoon he loves.

Barely has changed after he had pursued Dowoon. He tried to keep things the same as it was on his memory. The only different thing this time is his intuition has become more sensitive than it used to. He could see what he had always seen however he could now also see what he never had minded before. The more he sees it, the more he is guilty of being an irresponsible friend and a boyfriend.

The first time Sungjin saw it, he thought Dowoon was only shy as a reason of not wanting to show his affection, yet the next time it happens, he knew he couldn’t ignore it anymore. The usual indifferent stare on Dowoon’s eyes always look uneasy when it comes to Younghyun. He knew its only with his best friend as he could see Dowoon fine with everyone else. And it seems like Younghyun doesn’t know anything about it.

The two spent more time together on a coffee shop Dowoon always liked to visit. It’s another caffe latte for Dowoon and iced mocha for Sungjin.

“How do you know?” Dowoon asked after receiving it to his hand. Sungjin only shrugged and smiled on him but the thoughts keeps on running to his head as he try to gain courage to ask.

“Dowoon-ah.. do you have anything to tell me?” He asks as they walk on the cloudy night with the crescent moon peaking from the clouds, fingers intertwined to go back home.

“Like what?” 

“Do you..” He contemplates to ask. His thoughts are fighting to each other but then, if he doesn’t ask right now, his question will be no different to the other days. “..not like Younghyunnie?”

The silence stood in a while as they walk pass the convenience store near the intersection, leading to Dowoon’s house. The uneasy atmosphere blowing to Sungjin, thought Dowoon doesn’t want to talk about it and so he didn’t speak again and only squished the hoobae’s hand to his. Moving a little closer so their shoulders are touching as they walk together.

But a sudden hissing on the younger popped his own bubble, reflexively letting him turn his head and see a smug on Dowoon’s face in which, has eventually disappeared in a second, turning into a calm expression.

“How long do you know him?” Dowoon asks without even a glance.

Sungjin blinks up and looked in front of him before he replied. “I met him in kindergarten.. we went to the same school. We separated in elementary because his parents had transferred places but we met again in middle school. Why?”

“None..” Dowoon shakes his head, glancing to the sunbae before their eyes matched when Sungjin felt the eyes on him. “I was just curious” He says quietly.

“Will you answer my question then?”

“It’s a question you shouldn’t direct to me..”

“I asked Younghyun—“

Dowoon pauses from his step, halting the sunbae to walk as well from their interlaced fingers.

“What did you asked him?”

“If he doesn’t like you.. but he said he never thought of that..”

“Never?” Dowoon asks which is more like a confirmation than a question as he raises a brow. “Okay, I’ll tell you..”

He then grabbed the sunbae’s hand to continue their walk as they are nearing his house.

“He likes you..” He says after stopping in front of his house.

This was exactly what Dowoon has told him on the other loop. He didn’t know it all these times until Dowoon pointed it out for him. It took him a while to know his best friend was hiding a secret from him. He thought he was too insensitive for not noticing. He is not throwing Younghyun’s feelings away yet what worries him the most is the thought of how Dowoon felt back then. He is more guilty of not knowing how his boyfriend felt.

Yet, with what he said, Sungjin wasn’t as surprised as he thought he should be after hearing the confession.

“So what if he does?” Sungjin asks.

“You’re not surprised. I guess you already know. Did he tell you?”

“No.. we never talked about it—“

“And if he talks to you about it?”

“There’s nothing I could do. It’s his feelings so don’t let go of my hand without my permission even if he.. or anyone else is around. Do you get that?” There’s a bit frustration in his raising tone. He frowns yet he still could not read what’s on Dowoon’s mind.

“He’s my best friend and as much as he is important for me, you are more than that.. you should know that. Because you’re mine..”

The usual sparkly eyes has a fire burning on it instead. A calm expression remains on Dowoo’s face as they both gazed to one another before the younger spoke.

“Okay.. stop it” He says as he stepped close to the sunbae and wrapped his arms on his waist with his head resting on the sunbae’s shoulder. “Don’t be so worked up anymore. I’m sorry for letting your hand go.. I won’t do it again..” The deep and sincere tone of the voice and the warmth on his arms immediately poured water on the fire from Sungjin’s eyes. His arms then wrapped around the younger’s body as his head is buried to his neck.

“I’m sorry.. for not knowing anything.” He breathes out as he tighten his hold to the younger. “For letting you feel this way. I’ll do better.. but if I make you feel this way again, don’t hesitate to yell at me.. I will listen to all of it. Just don’t turn me the blind one. I don’t want you to hurt. So please, put your trust on me..”

“You don’t have to do better, you’re the best.” Dowoon says as he caresses Sungjin’s hair, helping the sunbae to calm down. “I don’t want you to hurt too..”

In a few, in the quiet night, they remained in the same position before Sungjin lifts his head to speak.

“Play with me the next weekend..” Sungjin gazes at the younger with a much better expression held on his face.

“Next? Why not this weekend?

“I have things to do at school..” Dowoon nods in understanding, knowing it’s student council duties.

“Where are we going?”

“To my house.. I’ll buy a game you’ll like..”

Dowoon was always lonely in his home alone, the younger used to pester him about staying a night in his place yet he never did until his birthday. 

He has taught Sungjin to play the games the sunbae sucked when he visit him on the weekend. And in the past although he never had interest to games, he bought one for himself so if he would invite Dowoon home, he doesn’t get bored. And Sungjin did the same in this present. He remember, Dowoon loved it a lot.

“I like that..” Dowoon says as a faint smile draws on his face before he leaned in to peck on Sungjin’s lips. Still on the same hugging position as earlier.

“What was that for? For the game?”

“No, you’re very cute today..” Dowoon scrunches his nose as he endure the giggle bubbling inside.

“Don’t act too cool, I know you want to laugh on me..” Sungjin rolls his eyes as he accepts the defeat. He’s disgustingly cheesy, he knows that.

“It’s not like that..” Dowoon gazes to Sungjin’s eyes with fondness filling him in. A wave of fluttering emotion made it too overwhelming for the sunbae, it almost makes him want to cry. It was all silent and the smiles have faded away when Dowoon once again leaned in but this time it isn’t for a peck but for a passionate kiss as if they longed for each other for not seeing in a while although they kissed just yesterday.

“Dowoon-ah?” A voice of an old lady inside brought them back to their senses and broke off the kiss.

“Ahjumma is here..” There’s excitement on his tone as if the thrills of almost getting caught is fun. “See you on Monday”

Sungjin smiles back before giving him one last peck and when the old lady opened the gate, they are now separated to each other as if nothing happened. Sungjin greets the lady a goodbye before heading.

“See you..”

And Dowoon watched him until he had disappeared with the lady beside affectionately smiling at the sight.

“Excuse me” Sungjin calls out to the two students coming out from the school gates. The school Sungjin has gone to is unexpectedly a bit far from where he lives. He had to take a five hour bus travel and a taxi ride to locate the right address.

Sungjin has been waiting outside for two hours now until they are out from class and so he could examine the faces of each student coming out from the school to not miss any of it. Then he found them, the one who had hurt Dowoon in the past are the people he wants to visit. However in this time, they haven’t transferred yet. This time, they haven’t tried to harm him and this time, Sungjin is trying to prevent it.

The two boys who are in the same year level as Dowoon, lift their heads up from their phone as they paused to focus on him.

A frown from their face greets him. Annoyed by bothering them. And the guy whom Sungjin was looking for who was like their leader isn’t here.

“Us?” Said the black haired, shorter student from Sungjin with an irritation on his tone. His bronze colored name tag says Jang In Sub, exactly the right person he’s been looking for.

“Yes.. I have a few questions to ask..” Sungjin kindly asked but the reaction of the two doesn’t change and they are only getting more and more irritated in each second passing by.

“We don’t have time for that. Get lost!” Said the other guy with a dangling cross earring on his left ear, named Park Doo Shik.

“J-just a moment..” Sungjin tries to block their way however they are determined to leave but a call from another student behind them stopped the two from walking away and smiled on the guy. It’s the guy who seemed to have hated Dowoon more than anyone of them. Lee Da Wit.

“Who’s that?” He asked the two as he put his both arms to each of his friends.

“We don’t know..”

“He’s annoying..”

They commented. But Sungjin couldn’t mind any of it as his eyes is already set on the guy.

“Oh, wait..” Dawit says when their gaze met. His eyes suddenly widen as if he has come to a realization of something.

“Yah!” He whispered on his two oblivious friends but Sungjin could still hear as they are standing in front of him. “That’s Kang Younghyun hyungie’s best friend..”

“What?” They simultaneously confirm as they look to each other with a widen eye.

Sungjin’s brows knitted in confusion in the mention of his best friend’s name.

Their leader had immediately put his hands down from his friends. Meanwhile, the other two had also inserted their phones back to their pocket. And as if they are the most gentle cats, they became all formal and nice.

“Are you with Younghyun hyung today?” The leader asked in a pretentious smile.

“No, I’m here for another reason.. Yoon Dowoon..”

And the three all became gloomy and dark as if they wished to never hear that name.. ever again.

It was late at night when they had gone to bed. It is that time when Sungjin brought Dowoon to his house to play and study together. The study part actually didn’t happened to what he has told his parents they would do.

He had simply introduced Dowoon to his parents and his mom immediately held a feast. They did had the same reaction as it was in Sungjin’s memory. They’re excitement to know him, earning a pressure and embarrassment from the younger to which has shown on his red ears and neck.

It isn’t the first time but this is the first time in this present to be in the same room as the younger again. He had imagined this sleepover where they’d be laughing about a random topic like they used to however his thoughts wouldn’t let him his rest. There’s no way Dowoon would do a horrible thing, not when the younger right now is blindingly shining like star, humming a tune he formed from his mind, smiling purely to him.

As much as he try to be gleeful today, his mind keeps him weary. His thoughts is making him guilty. After learning the story behind, he’s afraid he’d turn back against the younger if ever his expectations wouldn’t meet. He doesn’t want to think how he might only be sorry for seeing the younger’s death. He’s scared yet he is more afraid of believing everyone else but Dowoon.

“Sorry about my parents earlier. I’m an only child that’s why they’re happy to know I’m dating someone..” Sungjin says, still standing to prepare himself to bed with Dowoon already sitting leisurely face to face with him.

“Although it’s temporary, I‘ve enjoyed it.. a lot. I was happy thanks to you..” Dowoon‘s lips lifted into a smile as he look up to Sungjin, waiting for him in bed. He look so innocent and sweet like a puppy waiting, it’s too absurd to believe what everyone had told him.

“Hmm?” Although he heard of what Dowoon had said, there seemed to be a different meaning of it. Past tense. It sounds like it’s all in the past.

“None..”

Dowoon lies down with his legs still hanging at the edge of the bed. Feeling a lot comfortable although his bed is much perfect for him and his position isn’t that okay at all, lifting his arms up and down on both side as if he’s making a snow angel on the bed but is actually just making the covers into a mess.

Sungjin then sat down beside him and stopped one of Dowoon’s arms from moving by resting his head on it. Dowoon then turned to him and Sungjin mirrored the action, like how the fondness from their eyes mirrors each other. However there seemed to be different in the way Dowoon is looking at him, the twinkle of his eyes felt like he is trying to reminisce the moment. 

“What was it?” Sungjin asked lowly. “What were you thinking?”

Dowoon shakes his head before speaking.

“Sad thoughts.. it only comes by when I’m delighted.. it’s nothing unusual..”

“What do you mean by that?” He asked before resting his back on the bed and stared to the ceiling. “Will you tell me?” He asked softly with his mind still in chaos.

Dowoon never had the interest to talk about himself before but the care and curiosity on Sungjin’s tone shakes him. It really feels like as if someone is genuinely interested to hear his stories. He used to think he was invisible to everyone else, that his thoughts will never matter to anyone. He got used of being alone, unable to speak and independent, he doesn’t know how to lean to someone however Sungjin makes him want to learn all of that. For once in his life, he wants to be dependent to someone.

“Do you.. really want to know?” He asked in low tone. Sungjin then glances to meet his eyes.

The sunbae nod upon meeting each other’s eyes. Dowoon then gave a light smile to him before speaking.

“Fine.. Because I like you, I’ll tell you..” He said before copying the sunbae’s lying position.

“When I was growing up, I’ve come to believe that happiness doesn’t belong to me. I thought my parents loved me but they only love their jobs than me. When I thought I had friends, everyone turned their back against me after a misunderstanding happened. You too, you say you like me, you said you want me to be happy even if you’re not there. So I thought ‘ah, I’ll just enjoy it while it last’. That’s why you should do the same, it might hurt less when everything’s over.”

Sungjin licked and bite a portion of his lip as if his mouth has gone dry. He holds back the tears forcing it’s way down. What he said back then wasn’t suppose to mean that way. He just want Dowoon anywhere in this world, breathing, even if it takes their separation but that doesn’t mean that’s what he wants. 

He realized it now, the reason why he has to go back here and search for the real reason why things had happened to Dowoon. 

If only he could tell him the real reason behind to what he said, he’d explain them however he knows he’ll only sound crazy if he says it so he doesn’t.

He knew for the longest time, Dowoon is experiencing troubles mentally. He knows there are countless of fears behind the stolid face yet he never tried to ask. Back then, he thought if he wait a little longer, Dowoon would give him the answer however, it never happened again and he lost his chance to know the story behind the sadness of his eyes. They have died and lived once again. And he doesn’t want it to happen again.

Now he realized Dowoon was always scared to lose everything he has so he doesn’t smile. Behind his sharp words, there’s an awaken mind to keep his expectations low and not because of everyone else but all because of him. And that’s why Dowoon doesn’t want to make promises.

He looked over to the younger with a thought of explaining himself in a possible way he could however, before he can open his mouth to speak, Dowoon turned to him and continued what he had to say.

“Is what I want to tell you.. but you know what.. every second I spend with you excites me. I’m always looking forward to see your face. And I’m scared because my greed keeps growing, I want you even more now. And I can’t bear to lose you anytime soon. However, if there‘s a consequence for this happiness you’re giving me, even if it takes my life.. I will be okay.. I’ll happily look back to our memories in my last moment. Without regrets”

There is a faint thankful smile drawn to his lips after he said what he needs to say. He didn’t know sharing his thoughts would make him feel lighter. It was a like a breath of air. He really wants to engrave every little memories they have to his heart so once he lose all of these, he’ll have something to look back on.

Yet his eyes says otherwise to the sunbae. Sungjin knows he doesn’t mean what he just said. Although the younger doesn’t say it, he had always dreamt of living a happy life. And Sungjin will never forget the promise they made to be together in college.

“And I don’t want to lose you either. I still want to be with you.. for a very long time..” Sungjin says.

“That‘s going to be difficult..” Dowoon smirks with a sadden gaze in which he immediately took away to look up on the ceiling once again yet Sungjin couldn’t let those eyes go and so without forcing Dowoon to look at him, he turned to the younger’s position and leaned a hand in between of the younger’s body instead. Then he looked down as the younger stares straight to his deeply gleaming eyes.

“Dowoon-ah, you said you want me. Do you love me?”

“If I killed someone, will you still love me?” Dowoon retaliates.

It‘s the same question Sungjin has forgotten in the middle of this conversation. It surprised him how Dowoon is suddenly bringing up this question to him when he never did before.

“Of course.. you won’t” There’s a sharp disappointment on Dowoon’s tone after he saw how Sungjin’s eyes shaken from the question. He then carefully pushed the sunbae aside with a hand on his chest to avoid the eyes he doesn’t want to keep falling to. He knew his fear is what making him fearless to be honest. Like he said, he is growing greedy on keeping the sunbae by his side but before he could completely change he’d rather lose it all than put up with something he couldn’t keep for himself in a long time. He told himself to only keep the good memories so even if it ends tonight he’ll consider this night as one of his happiest.

However, Sungjin was quick to grab the hand attempting to push him away and pushed it down back to its place.

“You probably had your reasons, right?” Sungjin asks with full determination in his eyes. His brows turns to a frown as he deeply stare at the bland look of the younger’s eyes.

“I was doubtful of myself.. I was afraid if everything turns out to be true, I’d turn my back against you. And I don’t want to be with you because I feel sorry. And I’m most afraid of not believing you.. but now it’s clear to me. Whatever you say I’ll believe in you. Whether you killed someone or not, I’m never leaving you.. You say happiness doesn’t belong to you, you don’t have to worry.. you belong to me and I’ll love you. I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you..”

Warmness filled Dowoon’s as his eyes began to well up upon hearing the confession. Yet his guards are up. The mixture of suspicion and fear lingers to his eyes. His free hand travels to the neckline of the sunbae’s clothes and fisted the fabric with a tremble as he stare carefully to Sungjin’s never changing assuring gaze.

“What—what do you know about me?” A whisper comes out to his lips in a trembling tone. The flustered gaze from the sunbae made his world stop.

It’s over. Dowoon whispered to himself in every second.

He then immediately pushed the sunbae in force to sit up and grab his collar once again. He leaned a little closer and held their gazes to one another. The warmth is now exchanged with his brows meeting and an anxious face.

“Did Younghyun sunbae told you?!” He cried in a smaller voice as anger flows in him.

The look in Dowoon’s eyes made Sungjin nervous. A flash of bad premonition due to what he has just said made him pull the younger to his arms. The tight embrace made the grip grow weaker from the sunbae’s collar yet he isn’t planning of dropping it soon because he knows that once he do, he’ll lose all his strength and will desperately want to hold on.

“Don’t be mad..” There is jittery on Sungjin tone as tears began to well up. The anxiousness to see what could be in Dowoon’s mind immediately pushed himself to find the younger’s eyes and put a palm to his both cheeks. “Whoever may have told me doesn’t matter. I don’t care..I don’t care what other’s think. I believe in you so please.. please..”

Dowoon grits his teeth and gripped the collar once again to his fist. Tears ran down to his face . However the desperate look from Sungjin’s eyes makes him weaker, it’s about to drive him crazy. He just want to know why a person like Sungjin is acting like this even after knowing it all. Even from the beginning, Sungjin has always been looking at him.

“Are you crazy?” He whispered in sob with his head down low, his hand from the collar has slowly let go and it became Sungjin’s cue to embrace the younger once again as tears kept falling from his eyes.

“I am. And I’m not letting you go anywhere without me” Sungjin admits to himself. This must be it, the feeling of loving someone, that even if they’d meet again and again he’ll still want the same person.

The loop flashes to his memory, this is the third time he fell deeply in love with the same person. The more he spend his time with him, the more his feeling grows. Dowoon is like a drug he became so addicted to, he keeps wanting him more and more. He’s the same high schooler who have fallen in love with Dowoon yet if we counted the years he spent in a loop, he probably had grown up a lot now. Come to think of it, he was unaware of the loop the second time he met Dowoon yet in the end, he still chased him around unaware of his growing feeling. And Sungjin thought, no matter what situation they may meet, perhaps he’d still fall in love to the same person who is in his arms now embracing him. Crying.

“I didn’t do it... I didn’t killed that person..” Dowoon says after he pulled away from the hug, eyes are puffy and red from crying.

“What?” Sungjin’s eyes widen in surprise. Although he had heard it the first place, he’s just shocked. Those people whom he had speak with made it so believable that he left the place with so much confusion in his head yet Dowoon is saying otherwise.

“I didn’t killed anyone but no one believes in me..”

“I believe in you..” Sungjin immediately respond.

“What if I’m lying, will you still believe in me?”

“I know you. You’re a blunt person, you don’t lie” Sungjin says with a small smile forming on his lips.

Once again it made Dowoon’s tears well up. He has always thought of the end of this relationship he thought he never deserved yet today, for the first time, he had thought of the future. That maybe, finally someone out there who is willing to accept all of his flaws will love him for a long time.

Sungjin brought his lips to the younger’s forehead and left a dozen of pecks on it before Dowoon pulled him on the collar and pushed his lips to the sunbae. The light pecks and sweet kisses became passionate as they both lie down on the bed with Sungjin hovering on top of the younger.

Dowoon lightly pushes Sungjin to take a breath and say the word he’s been trying to take courage.

“I love you..” He confessed breathlessly.

Sungjin smiles widely upon the confession in which the younger mirrors upon seeing the twinkle on the sunbae’s eyes.

His hand then traveled to the younger’s cheek, caressing it with his thumb to say the words he’s been dying to tell.

“I love you too.. a lot..” Sungjin replies. Earning a tearful smile from the younger. They both chuckle from the embarrassment. Tinge of flush from the younger’s ears to his whole face made it more endearing to the sunbae that he couldn’t help but lean in for more kisses in which the younger welcomed well.

For the first time, Dowoon doesn’t wait for the end, instead he is looking forward for tomorrow. For a wish of love to remain in a lifetime.

The couple promised to meet on the new coffee shop two streets away from their address. Sungjin remember how Dowoon used to love visiting this coffee shop which is filled with books and calmness surrounding them although the sunbae knows it was only an excuse to spend more time staring to Sungjin’s eyes. For Dowoon, it’s a lot comfortable to do however he wants when no one knows them. No one will bother to care if he’s staring too much to Sungjin rather than reading the book he have on his hand which was on the same page for about three hours.

Sungjin excitedly walks out of their house after finding out the pot Dowoon has given before isn’t just a stalk of mysterious plant anymore but a flower beginning to bloom. Red tulips. It was tulips all along, meaning Undying Love . By how Dowoon thought of giving him a flower with such meaning, his heart is full. 

He sees the younger across the street waving at him upon meeting each other’s eye. They smiled to each other with giggles bubbling inside their stomachs. Until Sungjin noticed Dowoon’s far away look over a car in a distance.

The view doesn’t sit right to Sungjin’s thoughts. On the first loop, they died prior his graduation. On the second, he doesn’t know if Dowoon has died, all he is sure was it’ll happen eventually. Whichever they’ll exist together. Without significant time or date. And so he crossed the empty road without difficulties.

“Stay there” Dowoon yells after seeing how Sungjin’s steps are gradually approaching him. He gestures the sunbae to stop. However, with all the stubbornness he has, in fear something’s wrong, he doesn’t listen to the younger and kept walking forward until Dowoon decided to come after him and hold him in his arm. In a brief second, the younger has turned them over and he realized, Dowoon was actually protecting him. Allowing the speeding car to hit him fully from his back. The impact pushed the two of them rolling on the road and got them lose their consciousness as the speeding car leaves the scene.

“D..D..Do..Dowoon-ah..” Sungjin calls weakly as his head is on haze. He finds Dowoon from his blurry sight a meter distanced from him. Blood is scattered on the road. And Dowoon is covered in blood while unconsciously lying on the cold ground. Sungjin tears up as he try to pull himself together and crawl to Dowoon’s side however, no matter how desperate he is, his body’s state won’t allow him.

People gathered murmuring on the background before he realized someone so familiar is closely standing beside him.

“Sungjin-ah, w..we’re calling the ambulance. H..Hang in there.. ple..please..” It’s Younghyun whipping for him. He doesn’t have to look to recognize his voice.

Wonpil is also beside Dowoon with a phone on his ears, talking to someone.

Sungjin wants to stay conscious for Dowoon however, his droopy eyes and his aching head is singing him lullaby. And as he unwantedly close his eyes, he dreams of Dowoon’s smile.

_ Has it always been my fault? Maybe it was. _

“Dowoon-ah, here!” Wonpil calls to him on a distance after leaving the others gathering outside the hotel building where they were planning to spend the night with their instructor and the rest of those who are involved in mathematics competition.

Wonpil had a hand on his left pocket as he walk away from them. It’s strange how they didn’t seem to mind where Wonpil and him is heading yet he could only brush it off as his focus remain on the person walking ahead of him.

Wonpil lead him to the park across the hotel and seated on the bench with the lamplight brightening their surrounding.

“Sungjin likes you..” Wonpil said in no hesitation.

“I know..” He responds with no interest from his tone.

“Good.. are you going to answer him?”

“No..”

“But you like him too..”

“It doesn’t matter..” He doesn’t deny for he knows Wonpil well.

“I know you didn’t killed her..”

“I did.. everyone say so. You don’t even know me that well.. why would you say otherwise?”

“I just know.. I know her reasons.. and Younghyun hyung too..“

“I don’t understand you.. do you like Younghyun sunbae or do you hate him?”

“Both..”

“Why?”

“Because he’s dumb.. and now he’s in love with Sungjin sunbae too.. I can’t understand him..”

“Ah, you always know everything but you can’t understand what’s running on his mind, that’s why you like him..”

“I like you too.. you understand me very well..” Wonpil snickers as Dowoon rolls his eyes.

“If you got nothing left to say, let’s go back..” Dowoon stood up and took his first step.

“Accept Sungjin sunbae!” Wonpil’s sudden yelling froze him from his step. He turned to the sunbae.

“Hyung.. listen, we are not on that level.. he is just probably fascinated by me.. it’ll disappear soon so don’t bother me about him again..” Dowoon explains.

“He’ll confess to you soon so accept him”

“Why?” He asked in confusion.

“You smiled.. because of him. Are you sure you’re letting Younghyun hyung watch how miserable you are? It will only prove them right”

“But she died because of me.. what’s the difference?”

“It’s different. And prove them wrong.. so wake up now. Don’t make Sungjin sunbae lonely without you..”

Dowoon opens his eyes from the sunrise peeking on his black curtain. His forehead creases from the sudden headache as he sat up from his bed.

Staring on his unscarred wrist, heremember this was the part he slit to commit suicide. Yet here he is again with new memories he shouldn’t have had. His aching heart is only making his body exhausted. Although he knows where he is now, he still reached for his phone to check.

It’s that same year again, first day of class. The day he met Sungjin.

And he compelled whether to go to school or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it here, I would like to congratulate you and I appreciate you guys reading this.
> 
> I know it’s complicated. I also wrote this for a month but I hope it was clear. I have cut a lot of scenes cause this is very long, I was supposedly gonna write a smut but this is too long. But still, I wish I was able to put everything properly. Next chapter would be the last universe and the last chapter will be the epilogue.
> 
> Our Day6 maknae line is debuting so let’s support them MyDays!

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who had reach the end, you worked hard reading for Dowoon and Sungjin. I know this is complicated but this has been ringing in my mind. I still want to finish this. I might’ve posted this 1 year or 2 years ago? But I didn’t really like it.
> 
> For now, I wanna post this part to pressure myself and write the next parts.
> 
> Thank you for your time~ Have a lovely day~


End file.
